Let me just take this time to let everyone know that I am the definition of the GI JOE generation. Not the original 12 inch tall GI Joe's. I'm saying I had about 200 little soldiers with all the guns and bazookas and everything. I'm saying that dinner at my house couldn't be served until after the cartoon was over everyday. I'm saying that I wanted to be a GI Joe. I'm also saying that if anyone qualifies as a critic of the new GI JOE movie, its me.
Now, let the first thing I say about this movie be that this movie is nothing like the toys and cartoons that we grew up with. When I heard they were making a GI Joe movie, I got real nervous because the room to screw this up was huge. I knew that if they made similar to the actual cartoon, it would be too campy and basically suck. I also knew that the only way people would take a GI Joe movie seriously would be to make it dark and gritty. Well, I think this movie landed somewhere in between.
The movie has some of the most popular characters in General Hawk, Duke, Snakeeyes, Scarlett, and Cobra. But only Snakeeyes looks like he did in the character, and if I may be so partial, is still by far the coolest GI Joe. And other than Cobra wearing a weird mask, and the foot soldiers being emotionless, faceless warriors, the similarities basically end there.
Heavy Duty is another one of the good guys but he's British and Breaker (who I don't really remember being that big of a character) is Moroccan. To make the movie more "worldly" GI JOE stands for Globally Integrated Joint Operating Entity. Pretty clever if you ask me. I wonder how long it took the movie dudes to come up with that?
This is about the epitome of an expectation flick. First of all, you don't even really need to know the plot, the bad guys are trying to take over the world and the good guys are trying to stop them. Period. That's all you need to know. And that's about as deep as it gets. So don't expect some complicated, mind blowing plot. Also, don't expect too many winks to the old cartoon. Don't expect the movie to be remotely believable either. My best advice is to go into this movie with the same mindset as you would if you were going into see Transformers. And I didn't use Transformers as a comparison coincidentally. This movie is just as sci-fi if not more than Transformers. Its way more sci-fi than it is action or war. There is tons (I think a bit too much) of CGI. While this movie takes itself a little too seriously, if the viewer does not take it seriously, they will enjoy it a whole heck of a lot more. It is what it is, its a movie rendition of a child's cartoon. I mean what do you expect. But if you take it for what it is, you will have a good time.
The good guys are all great looking people, and then there's Sienna Miller as one of the bad guys, but she's so hot in this that you don't really care. I mean there's even "workout" scene where Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans have their shirts off and Rachel Nichols (Scarlett) is jogging in a sports bra. This scene serves no purpose what so ever except to show the people a little skin. There are plenty of scenes like this, they serve no purpose in furthering the "story" except to show the viewer some pretty or cool visual. The movie is lots of visuals, lots of shoot outs, chases, fight scenes.
This is good dumb fun. A typical summer blockbuster (that I just now watched in the fall). You are maybe going to walk out of the movie a little dumber, but you'll probably walk out with a smile on your face. That is if you take my advise and go in knowing it is totally a ridiculous CGI laden sci-fi, everyone looks good blockbuster. There are a couple of cool things that they added to the movie though. You learn why Snakeeyes is a mute. And you get a back story on how Cobra Commander became Cobra Commander, and you also learn why Destro wears the mask that he wears. All cool stuff for fans of the original. If you weren't a fan to begin with, then none of this stuff will be very cool to you.
My advice to you. If you really loved GI Joe as a kid go see this in the theater, just so you can say you saw it in the theater, but don't expect your GI Joe, this is your kid cousin's GI Joe. If you could really care less about GI Joe, wait, rent it, and you'll have a fun, mind numbing night on the couch. GO JOE!!!!!
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