World's Greatest Dad - a strange comedy-ish drama

The only reason I rented World's Greatest Dad is because I read that it was getting great reviews. I didn't actually read any of the reviews, I just read that it was getting good ones. And I have to say, if being a different gets you good reviews, well, then it deserved them.

WGD is a dark comedy starring Robin Williams. He plays Lance Clayton. A man who dreams of being a rich and famous writer, but has only managed to make it as a high school poetry teacher. His only son Kyle is an insufferable jackass who is really a total douche bag who hates music and likes scheisse porn. Then, in the wake of a freak accident, Lance suffers the worst tragedy of his life, but he ends up turning it into the greatest opportunity of his life. He is suddenly faced with the possibility of all the fame, fortune and popularity he ever dreamed of. However, he begins to face the dilemma of facing the reality of how he got it all.

While this movie has it's moments, it really isn't all that good. There are some very uncomfortable situations, and I felt like I just spent the whole movie waiting for something bad to happen. And while we are one the "whole movie," I found my self checking the run time of the movie just to see how much longer I had. Now, I'm not a huge black comedy fan, but I can also appreciate the irony and art behind them. This one was just more of a drama told in kind of comedic tone with dark subject matter.

I can honestly say, that while I didn't hate this movie, I don' t think I feel comfortable recommending this to most people. Unless you are a huge Robin Williams fan, you can probably just save you time and money on this one.

Terminator Salvation - Not like the other Terminators

Terminator Salvation is not really a "Terminator" movie like the previous 3 were. There isn't a battle between 2 Terminators or one Terminator versus the rest of the world or anything like that. Terminator Salvation is basically just a bad ass action movie with Skynet, the creators of the Terminators as we know them, as the bad guys, set in the future, with the Terminator mythology as a back drop/driving force. So don't go into this one expecting to see an Arnold like machine kicking the crap out of humans, because you'll be disappointed. At least to a certain extent...don't want to give too much away to those of you who don't know anything about this current installment of the Terminator franchise. If you go in expecting to see a really cool sort of sci fi action flick, then you'll really enjoy this movie. Even the harshest critic I know, my roommate Timmy, liked it. And that's saying something.

Salvation takes place in post-apocalyptic 2018. Bad ass John Connor (played by Christian Bale) is a grown man, fighting with the Resistance against Skynet and its army of various types of machines. He is not the leader of the Resistance...yet, but is believed by most to be a prophet of some sorts because of his knowledge of the future. His certainty about the future changes when he meets Marcus Wright (played by the new it guy Sam Worthington - see Avatar, and Clash of the Titans) who is not who he seems or even who he thinks he is. Connor is in a battle with Skynet to save humanity and with the Resistance leaders to save his future. Wright is in a battle to find out who and why he is, and to figure out what is right and wrong.

The movie is basically one mind blowing action sequence after another. It is filmed in a sort of washed out style similar to, but not as extreme as Minority Report with Tom Cruise. If I had to give it a few knocks, I would say for one, the showing of the name of the director, McG, is the most egotistical, ridiculous things I've ever seen. Just pay attention at the beginning and you'll see what I'm talking about. There's a couple of completely unnecessary and/or over the top explosions, however they just add to the visual fun of the movie. And the last thing is that, for the Terminator purists, its not really like any of the others before it. One maybe positive, maybe negative, depending on your point of view is that it is not nearly the mind f@# that the others can be.

This movie is really entertaining. It has its flaws, and isn't going to be winning any awards or anything, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. And like I've said all along, the point of watching a movie is to be entertained. It's a sci fi movie, so of course you're going to be like "Yeah, right!" But that's part of the fun of watching movies. I recommend this to anyone who likes lots of action and anyone who just like to have a fun, mindless 2 hours.

Paper Heart - different and heartwarming

Paper Heart is a "love" story. It is a movie that follows the main character as she is making a documentary about love. It is a movie about a fake documentary. If that makes any sense. It follows Nick and Charlyne (the Asian stoner girlfriend from Knocked Up) as they embark on a quest across America to make a documentary to document what exactly "love" is. Along the way they interview real ministers, happily married couples, chemists, romance novelists, divorce lawyers, a group of children and more to determine the definition and perhaps even experience the mysterious emotion of love. Eventually, Michael Cera, playing himself, becomes the object of her affection. And the movie goes from being just a documentary about what love really is, to also documenting the makings of a loving relationship. It weaves together reality and fantasy, and as I said earlier, it combines elements of documentary and traditional storytelling to get at modern romance.

The movie is filmed documentary style with a handheld camera which gives it a real feeling. Kind of like you are there. And since the actors are playing "themselves" you feel like you actually get to know what Charlyne Yi and Michael Cera are like in real life.

The reason indie films are indie films are because they are not made to make the "general audience" happy. They are made to make a certain type of audience happy. Sometimes that certain type is a very small type and sometimes its more broad. This one I think appeals to a more broad audience. It is a documentary about love. You hear many opinions about love. So if you like documentaries, I think you will like that aspect of the story. If you like love stories, you will like that aspect. If you like both, you will definitely like this story. But be forewarned, there isn't a lot of action, mostly interviews with people about love, and watching two awkward young people fall in love. There isn't a ton of humor or some huge falling out or dramatic entrances and exits. It is a real story or at least feels that way. Real life doesn't have an overly handsome cad confessing his love to an overly beautiful girl in the middle of a crowded room interrupting some totally important event, and this movie doesn't have that. It is a happy movie, with happy parts but some sad ones too. I thoroughly enjoyed this one, but if you are one that needs to be constantly stimulated by some crazy, zany action to enjoy a movie, then you won't like this one. If you like to see something different every once in a while, then you will really like this one, and walk away with a smile on your face.

Angels and Demons - Better than The DaVinci Code, but still not up to the book (obviously)

Like The DaVinci Code, Angels and Demons could never live up to the phenomenon that was the book. Both of those books were absolutely spell binding, mind racing, thrillers. They honestly were some of the best books that I had ever read. Like most books, movies based on them just aren't as good. That's not a knock against the filmmakers. It's just damn near impossible to make a movie as good as a book that the readers read with their own imagination. It's like one of my favorite sayings, "Nothing is ever as beautiful as it is in your imagination." That is how Angels and Demons is. So try to compare the movie to the book is just unfair, so I'll do my best to look at the movie as just a movie. So the short answer is that this was a pretty good movie.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, Angels and Demons is based on the hugely popular novel by Dan Brown. It follows Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) who is a Harvard professor who specializes in symbols. When the current Pope dies unexpectedly, the conclave is formed and the process to choose a new Pope begins. This is all complicated when the four leading candidates for Pope are kidnapped. The Church calls on Langdon for help to find the Popes. He, along with the help of a beautiful scientist named Vittoria Vettra, go on a break neck journey through Rome, Italy and the Vatican to try to find the Pope's and who is behind all the evil before it is too late.

I have to say that I really liked The DaVinci Code although it lacked so much that the book had. Once again comparing it to the book. However, I liked Angels and Demons better as a movie than I did The DaVinci Code. As a stand alone thriller, it is very smart, very fast paced and very surprising. It is not like any other thriller I've ever seen before. There is intrigue, good character development, and just enough violence to keep you interested without over doing it or making it too gratuitous. One thing that many people could not stand about The DaVinici Code was Tom Hanks terrible hair cut. Well, that has been remedied. He got a regular hair cut and doesn't look like Nicolas Cage anymore. There was a part of the book that I found totally ridiculous and unbelievable that isn't in the movie which was nice. The movie takes place in Rome which is beautiful and made me want to go back there and live or something.

But, like all movies based on books, it doesn't go into as much detail on all the interesting historical facts about the churches and the Illuminati and the art, which is one of the reasons the book is so cool. But as a stand alone movie, if you didn't read the book, it is really good and you don't miss anything in the story.

I highly recommend this as a rental to anyone. If you've read the book, I don't have to tell you that it won't be as good (but there, I just did). If you haven't read the book, read the book! Its awesome! But you will like the movie as it is. It's not the greatest flick I've ever seen but it is still worth the rental and the watch by far.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard - Another hilarious trailer...

When I first saw the trailer for The Goods, I giggled like a school girl. I was so pumped about the movie, I told everyone that would listen that I was going to see that as soon as it came out. I mean, the trailer was absolutely hilarious! Its a movie that stars Jeremy Piven (Ari from Entourage), Ed Helms (Andy from The Office), Ving Rhames, the naked Chinese guy from The Hangover and the cop that tases the boys from The Hangover, just to name a few. Then the reviews came out and the general consensus was that while it had a few humorous parts, it really wasn't all that funny. So, my joy deflated, I decided that I wouldn't waste $10.50 at the movie theater to watch it, I would just wait for it on DVD, and boy am I glad I did, because honestly, it really wasn't all that funny at all. Damnit!

The premise of the movie is this. Jeremy Piven leads a group of crack car salesmen and women who specialize in going to failing dealerships and emptying their inventory for them. Well, the team goes to some podunk town to help the failing dealership once again. There is of course a series of obstacles that our team must over come, there's a romance or two, and there's a happily ever after...sort of.

While there are a few funny parts in the movie, they funny parts in the trailer are way funnier in the way they are presented in the trailer than they are presented in the movie. Jeremy Piven is funny as Ari in Entourage, but not funny as Ari the used car salesman in The Goods, which is kind of exactly how he plays his character in this flick. The movie isn't a total waste though. Katheryn Hahn (SNL) is pretty funny as one of the sales team who has a thing for a 10-year old man child, played by the taser cop from The Hangover. Ed Helms is really funny as a boy band douche/import car salesmen. And Will Ferrell has a pretty entertaining, yet stupid cameo in the movie too.

My advice to you is this, if you are sitting in Blockbuster and The Goods is really the only option, then you should watch it and you'll have a reasonably entertaining evening. But I'd recommend you wait until its on HBO or something and save your 5 bucks.

Ballast - Only for the true indie fan

Ballast is a movie that I would only recommend to a true indie fan. Ballast takes place in the Mississippi Delta and follows the live of three people. After his twin brother commits suicide, Lawrence stops going to work at his convenience store, instead he just sits at home staring at the television, like a zombie. His 12-year-old nephew, James, is in trouble with drug dealers and is desperate to get money to pay them off for the crack he has been smoking. Meanwhile, James's mother, Marlee, is scrubbing toilets to earn whatever she can to afford food and clothing for her son. But when Marlee finds out that her son's life is in danger, they run away to stay with Lawrence. This reunion is not wanted by any party and it triggers long-held memories and problems that slowly boil to the surface. This is set in the Mississippi Delta, and shot on location with nonprofessional actors who live in the region. The dialogue seems mostly improvised, and the director uses only natural sound and light. These all combine to make the audience feel that they are watching the lives of actual real people. It feels like a reality movie with out staged scenes.

Ballast is good in that it is so organic and real. It is good in that you feel like you have been made privy to the stark reality that these people in the Mississippi Delta experience. It is good in that it is incredibly different from most of the movies out there, indie or not.

However, it is slow. There is very little action. The actors are hard to understand. In fact, I had to watch most of the movie with subtitles to understand what was being said. The setting is cold, and rainy, and bleak and the circumstances of all the people are very desperate. That is the reason I suggest that only really big fans of indie films see this one. Its is an emotionally powerful movie, if you can actually get into the story, which isn't exactly easy to do. If you can't get into a story like this, then you will probably think that this is one of the most boring movies ever made. The movie has garnered a lot of critical acclaim which is the reason I rented it to begin with. I am a fan of indie films. I think they are a refreshing departure from all the stuff that is churned out of the big studios, but I had a very difficult time getting into this one. If I hadn't just had some coffee before I watched it, I would have probably fallen asleep multiple time. So, you've been warned kids!

Up - another great Pixar flick

I don't think Pixar has ever made a bad movie. The tradition continues with Up. Up follows Carl, an elderly man, who always dreamed of adventure, but in living life he was never able to make it to his dream place, Paradise Falls. When Carl's wife passes away, and then it looks as though he will lose his beloved home, Carl decides that it is finally time to make the trip to Paradise Falls. Carl decides that he is going to take his home with him, so he uses thousands of helium balloons to take him there. There is a small chink in Carl's chain though---Russell, a well meaning, sweet kid who is kind of a pest to Carl. Russell just happens to be under Carl's porch when Carl and his home "take off." Thus the 2, a curious, innocent boy, and a jaded, heartbroken old man, go on an adventure only Pixar could create.

Whether you like animated films or not, you can not deny that Pixar makes some of the most visually amazing things put on film. Up is no different. The colors are beautiful, the surroundings are ridiculously detailed, and the characters are different from any other film you've ever seen. Apart from the visuals of the film, the story is heartbreaking, thrilling, funny, and heartwarming. Now, some of you may be saying, "Come on! It's a cartoon! It can't be that emotional." And yes, I agree that you would have a point. Animated films may be a little hard to get emotionally involved with because it is so unreal. But the story in Up is so good, you really just can't help but get into the story to that point.

I recommend this movie to everyone. Regardless of whether you like animated films or not, I bet you will (but may never admit out loud) enjoy it. At the very least, you'll be in a better mood after you watched than before. The graphics are just cool; so you'll have fun just looking at all of that. The story is interesting. There is plenty of action. Good things happen to the good people and bad things to the bad people. It is just a great movie, and if you watch it and think it sucks, I think you are either having just a terrible day or you maybe just be a terrible person and you need to reevaluate your approach to life because this is just a totally fun and happy movie.

Precious - amazingly acted, not for the faint of heart

Let me start out by apologizing for my long absence once again. Especially some of you who have been waiting on this review for a while. You can stop your foot tapping now! In my absence I've watched about 5 or 6 movies, I'll have to go back and look to know just which ones, but Precious is the one that sticks out in my mind the most, and probably will always stick out in my mind forever. Yes, I just used always and forever in the same sentence which probably violates some grammatical rule but I don't care, because I did it on purpose to show the heaviness of this film.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, or somehow manage to what television or log on to the Internet, Precious is one of the most talked about films of the year. And for good reason. The full name of the film is Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire, follows a severely obese, barely literate teenage girl in 1980s Harlem, and the battles and obstacles that she must face on a daily basis. Let me tell you, battles and obstacles are about as big an understatement as one could make. By that I mean Precious (the main characters name, played by an actress named Gabby Sidibe), when we are introduced to her, is 16 and pregnant with her second child...by her father...Yes, you read that right and yes, my stomach just churned again writing it. She is verbally, physically and emotionally abused by her mother (played by comedian Mo'Nique in the total opposite of a comedic role) to a level and extent that I have never before seen on screen, nor could I even imagine. The stuff she says and does to her own daughter are mind blowing they are so awful. But because Precious is pregnant again, she is asked to enroll in an alternative school where she finally begins to learn, to feel love, to have friends. She is taught and guided by Ms. Rain (played by the knockout Paula Patton, the main girl from Deja Vu) and also help by a social worker Mrs. Weiss (played brilliantly by an almost unrecognizable Mariah Carey).

I'm going to be honest, this film is deeply, deeply disturbing. You see things happening between a father and daughter that you never want see. You hear things about what a sick mother and father do to their child that you never want to hear. There are scenes of abuse that will be burned into your mind. You watch a poor young girl journey through an existence that would make the best of us just give up and die. It's heartbreaking...and its uplifting in its own way, which make this such a good movie. Despite every possible awful thing that happens to Precious in this movie, she still has dreams, she keeps on plugging along, she never gives up. The way I said that make the movie sound cliche' and it definitely isn't. It's real and raw, and even the happiest of moments are still tinged with a bit of melancholy because we see this girl living a life, even in the best of circumstances for her, that most of us would think horrible. That's part of the movie's power. It shows us how many of the poor live in America. It shows us the evils that go on behind closed doors, that most of us could never imagine. But it also shows us that despite all of the adversity, there are people that are so good that they wake up everyday and face the nearly impossible task of making the world just a little bit better.

While this movie has and will garner lots of praise this awards season, I don't think it is for every one. While I think everyone should see it if not just to get an idea of "the other side of the tracks," I know that is not right. There are disturbing scenes through out the movie and the movie doesn't hold back as to the harshness of the lives of these people. Like I said, its not for the faint of heart. But if you appreciate great performances, you'll like this movie because EVERYONE is great in it. Even Mariah Carey plays an amazing, plain Jane, nasally, New York social worker, if you can believe it. If you are okay, or even kind of enjoy movies that take you out of your comfort zone, you like this one. If you are getting tired of Hollywood watering down movies, or having the same story told to you 100 different ways, then you'll really like this one because its something you've never seen before. I recommend that everyone see this movie, but I'm not an idiot, and I know most of you just don't want to feel the way this movie makes you feel, while watching a movie.

The Blind Side - One of the best movies of the year, by far!

If you don't get choked up multiple times in this movie, something is wrong with you. Personally, I think if you don't cry at least once, something is wrong with you, but that may be me wanting to feel justified for staying choked up during pretty much the entire film, and crying, lets just say...more than once. But I'm a crier in movies. There, I said it. I cry in movies. But this one isn't just some tear-jerker movie. This one starts pulling at your heart strings from the very beginning of the movie and keeps pulling for the next 2 hours. This is the most heart-warming movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Everything about the movie makes you smile. I was happy for 2 days after I saw this movie, just because every time I thought about it, my heart felt warm. Nothing makes you feel better than a good 2 hours of laughing (yes, you'll also laugh) and happy crying (and no you won't be crying the whole time).

Now, I know I'm probably being overly sappy about this whole thing, but I honestly have never felt better and more hopeful walking out of a movie than I did walking out of The Blind Side. Guys, if you are a crier in movies like me, you may want to go alone or with someone who has already seen you cry because you may get a little embarrassed by the amount of dust in your eyes during that movie. Girls, brings some Kleenex and an understanding person to sit next to. Or, you could just go to a matinee, by yourself like I did, and let it all come out. But let me say, it's happy crying, not sad crying, so you'll be both smiling and crying at the same time.

For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, The Blind Side is the story of real life Pro football player Michael Oher. Yes, it's a movie with football in it, but its not your typical sports movie. So those of you who don't like football or sports movies, don't get scared. This is a true story about the power of kindness, of love, of family, and of what people can achieve and overcome with the right people fighting for them. Once again, this sounds overly sappy and dramatic, but the fact is, what happened in this movie really happened. People actually did what that did in this film, and that is what makes it a truly great, heart warming film and not some over done, cliched sports film.

Michael Oher was a homeless Memphis teenager, the son of a crack-addicted mother, one of 13 kids, who was taken in by the Tuohy's (played Tim McGraw and Sandra Bullock), a wealthy family who eventually become his legal guardians. With their help and support, Oher, who was all but illiterate and had never played football before, becomes a success both academically and athletically, earning a scholarship to Ole Miss and then being drafted by the Baltimore Ravens.

I loved this movie for many reasons. It was incredibly heartwarming like I've already said a million times, but it's also got a lot of funny parts. Most of these come from Jae Head who plays S.J., the Tuohy's youngest kid. He is very gregarious and outgoing and watching his interaction with all of the famous SEC coaches who have cameos in this film is incredibly funny. While I'm on the topic of the SEC, this movie takes place in the South and is about a family that went to Ole Miss. So for me, being a fan of SEC football, it was great seeing Phil Fulmer, Nick Saban, and Tommy Tuberville, just to name a few, play themselves in the movie. But the real stars of the show are Sandra Bullock, who plays the mom, Leigh Anne Tuohy and Quinton Aaron, who plays Oher. Bullock is beautiful and blond and southern and fiery and hates Tennessee (I do too) and loves her family, and everyone of us from the South knows a woman exactly like the person she plays. And she nails it. I once had a crush on Sandra Bullock after I watched Speed, and now I think I do again. Quinton Aaron plays the gentle giant that Oher is to a 'T'. From the first minute you meet him, you want to help him, you feel great when great things happen to him, and feel crushed when bad things do. Although he is larger than any normal human should be, and is the physical protector, you really feel what the Touhy's felt in needing to emotionally protect him.

I recommend that everyone goes out and watches this movie. Young or old, guy or girl, football fan or football hater, if you like to smile you'll love this movie. For those of you who don't like to smile, well...watch this movie and you'll do it anyway. (The Real Oher and Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy) -------------------------------->

The Ugly Truth - Truthfully predictable

There is a formula that about 99% of all romantic comedies follow. Two people start out not knowing each other, many times when they first meet, they actually hate each other, they are forced to spend time together, see the true, inner beauty of the person, fall for each other, something happens where they "break up" or drift apart, then, in the end, they let love take over their heart, and, after some grand gesture, they live happily ever after. We all know that is how romantic comedies are, but that's not why girls make their boyfriends watch them. It's because they are funny enough to make you laugh, have beautiful people in them, and have happy endings. I personally watch them because I secretly hope that I will find one that will make me say, "Wow, didn't see that one coming!" Don't really think it's happened yet, but I keeping up hope.

The Ugly Truth follows this formula to a T. Don't get mad if you think i gave away the ending because we all know how it will end. That, once again, is one of the reasons that we watch them. Katherine Heigl plays Abby. An uptight, anal retentive, controlling, obsessive television producer (she seems to have mastered playing a bitch....hmmmm, makes you wonder...). She is so controlling that she brings a check list of talking points on a date. Gerard Butler (King Leonidus from 300...in a chick flick. i know! so sad! but he was also in P.S. I Love You, for the ladies) plays Mike. The host of The Ugly Truth, a show, which Abby's company picks up and she has to produce, on which he tells "the ugly truth" about what men and women really want. He's rude and crude, but makes a lot of very valid points. Well, if you follow the formula, these two don't like each other, but Mike is so sure about his methods that he convinces Abby to let him to help her land her dream guy using his methods. So through the course of the courtship, Mike and Abby begin to see the real person behind both of their facades. There's some kissing, some heartbreak, and then a super big loving gesture that makes all the girls swoon. Blah blah blah.

Now, I'm not blah blahing because I think I'm too cool to admit that I enjoy chick flicks every now and then. I did laugh at a couple of parts in this movie. And I did find myself smiling at the end. But I mean, I could have told you exactly what was going to happen at the beginning of every scene, which after a while, takes away some of the movie watching fun. I'm going to say this movie was bad, like I often say, its an okay cuddle session movie. Katherine Heigl is beautiful, Gerard Butler is his roguishly handsome self. There are some humorous supporting characters and actual on hilarious scene at a dinner table. But overall, as far as Rom Com's go, this one was kind of lacking. Rent it if you've run out of other cuddle session movies, otherwise wait until its on HBO or something.

Spread - Ashton Kutcher NOT acting like a lunatic.

Spread isn't a bad movie. It isn't all that good, but its not bad. Spread is about great looking twenty something guy (played by Kutcher) who has no home, no car, no job, manages to live the good life by drifting from one sugar mama to another. He hits on an older woman, makes her take him home with her, and then somehow weasels his way into her life in order to have a roof over his head. When doesn't work out, or he and his sugar mama break up, he just goes back out and finds another one and does it all over again. He is, in every since of the word, a player. He has a formula to approaching women, to getting them into bed, to getting them to let him stay at their home. Everything he does is methodical, emotionless, but it appears otherwise. We are let into this little program through voice over narration by Kutcher. All the time he is living with and sleeping with these older women (we are just shown his time with his sugar mama played by a great looking Anne Heche, Ellen's now straight ex-girlfriend) he is hooking up with the hotter, younger girls when his sugar mama is out of town. His idyllic existence is rocked when he meets a girl (played by Maragarita Levieta -- the girl from Adventureland that I told you about a few months ago) who he has feelings for and who appears to maybe be doing the same thing he is doing.

Ashton Kutcher is good looking enough to pull this role off. However, I'm not real sure if he's a good enough actor. I thought he was hilarious in That 70's Show, and I've been pretty entertained by most of his movies, but most of them are comedies. This movie is definitely not. It's actually kind of dark. It's just a little weird seeing him play a serious, playboy type. I don't know if it was my own prejudice or if Kutcher really was uncomfortable in the role, but it was a little difficult for me to take him seriously.

Kutcher aside, everyone of the other stars pulls their weight and does a good job. This movie has a very real, indie quality to it, which helps the audience identify with the situations and believe what is going on a little better. There is one scene in particular that involves a sort of mutual, nervous seduction, that I thought was great because it seemed so real! I could really feel the characters' nervousness, their sexual tension. Nothing explicit happens, but it was the most poignant scene in the whole movie.

Like I said, this movie has a indie feel to it, which turns a lot of people off. The action is pretty slow moving, and a part from a few sex scenes, there isn't a lot of action at all. The ending is "happy" per se, but there is a bit of a twist that was unexpected. I don't feel totally comfortable recommending this movie to anyone but those who really like Ashton Kutcher and want to see him in something different, love dark character driven indie films, or those who are intrigued by the LA lifestyle. Otherwise, you find yourself both bored and frustrated with the lack of anything happening, and the lack of resolution in the end.

The Taking of Pelham 123 - Denzel was great. Travolta, not so much.

Tony Scott directing + Denzel Washington and John Travolta starring = a good movie. Notice I just said good, not really good or great or really great or awesome. Just good. And I place the majority of the blame on John Travolta. Now I am not one of those John Travolta haters out there who thinks that he is terrible. I just think he played his character all wrong, or else was the part was just cast with the wrong actor. In the movie, Denzel is the good guy and Travolta is the bad guy. Normally, the phrase "John Travolta is playing the bad guy" gets me fired up. I think he has played some of the most entertaining, if not over the top, bad guys. See Broken Arrow. See also Face/Off. See also also Swordfish. Say what you want about the guy, those were all some pretty fun performances. This one, however, is not.

In Pelham 123, armed men, led by Travolta's character, hijack a subway train, and hold the passengers hostage for ransom. This turns a normal day for Denzel's character, who is a former big shot at the New York transit authority, now pulling dispatch duty while an investigation against him is on going, into one hell of a day. Because he was the dispatcher for the train that was hijacked, Travolta's villain decides that he will only talk to/cooperate with Denzel. This results in a tense game of cat and mouse between the two.

In this film, you see Travolta's bad guy as a handle bar mustache wearing, neck tattoo sporting thug, who happens to be brilliant. The whole movie, you know that Travolta's true motives are not what they seem, and when his true identity and reason behind committing this crime are revealed, you really have a hard time putting the criminal and the crime together. Travolta's best villains are cool, collected masterminds, who don't get rattled and don't "look" evil. And given what we find out about who Travolta's character is, he should be exactly that. But instead we get a some times cool, some times volatile, thug looking guy who does a terrible job at being a bad guy. Sure he "looks" evil, but he looks like a petty biker thug and not the mastermind that his character is supposed to be. Not only does the image not fit the criminal, Travolta's performance is just awkward. You feel like he couldn't really figure out how to play this guy, and you just don't get that uh oh feeling that you are supposed to get from a super villain like he is supposed to be.

As for every other aspect of the film, its very well done. Tony Scott continues to use the visual style of filming that he has adopted for his last few film, but tones down the choppy scene cuts and strange angles, yet stick with the acid trip color palate. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, think about the movies Domino, Man on Fire, and Deja Vu, and that's how this one is filmed. It just makes you a little less cross-eyed than the others. Denzel is his usual steady, awesome, good guy self. You really feel for the guy even though he is a flawed hero. You want him to win and you want everything good that can happen to him to happen. Because of this, you really hate a lot of the characters at one point or another in the film when they oppose him for various reasons. Most redeem themselves so, in that since its a "happy" film.

While this movie is tense at points and thoroughly entertaining throughout the majority of the film, it is quite predictable, and my roommate Timmy even called the ending to perfection at one point. While it doesn't take too much away from the movie, we, as movie watchers, still like to be a little surprised sometimes.

The only other knock I have is that the cussing got to be a little too much. I'm not one that gets uncomfortable in films that have a lot of bad language. I think a lot of times it is needed to create the tone of the story, and many times lines in movies just don't have the same punch without a well placed cuss word. But this one took the cussing a little too far, and it kind of became a bit of a distraction, if for no other reason other than there were a few unnecessary F-bombs. But I'm nitpicking now.

Overall, i thought this was a very watchable movie. It was far from perfect, and definitely not one Tony Scott's, Denzel's or Travolta's best, but I was still glad that I saw it. I think anyone would not be disappointed if they rented this one. Yes its R-rated, and yes there are too many cuss words, and yes there aer a few violent, and disturbing scenes, but is an R-rated action thriller. That's what its supposed to have in it. I recommend this to any one who likes a good R-rated action thriller every once in a while.

Land of the Lost - Just misses the mark

Land of the Lost stars Will Ferrell and Danny McBride (Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder, East Bound and Down) so you know its going to be totally stupid humor. I mean I love both those actors, and I think the majority of their movies are hilarious, but it doesn't change the fact that it is stupid humor.

Land of the Lost is a "remake" of a 1970s TV show by the same name. I say "remake" because the really only things it shares in common are the name and the general outline of the story. I.e. going to the alternate world of the "land of the lost." The movie involves a disgraced scientist (Ferrell) who believes that time travel, or parallel universe travel is possible. He is working a meaningless job, when a beautiful young science student played by Anna Friel who adds the requisite "sex factor" convinces him that his theories are possible. Well the duo go to an area that is believed to be a portal to this alternate universe. This place is a third rate tourist stop run by Danny McBride's character. Well as it happens, all three get transported to this other world and the adventures begin. The characters befriend a bizarre monkey-like person named Chaka, get chased by a T-Rex and battle lizard like people named the Sleesack.

This movie misses the mark because the story and events that take place are more suited for a family, kid friendly movie. The special effects are kind of bad, but its like the movie tried to make them bad on purpose, kind of like the bad special effects on many kids TV shows. However, the movie is rated PG-13 mainly because some of the jokes and a couple of the scenes are more geared toward adults. However, not many adults I know would actually enjoy the movie as a whole. Yes, there are some jokes that were pretty funny, and a couple that would have probably been funnier if they weren't in this failure to make a kids movie.

Will Ferrell is his usually crazy, idiot self. Danny McBride has mastered the inappropriately confident, "I'm pretending to be too cool" redneck that he plays in every movie. And while it still hasn't gotten old to me and it's still pretty funny, I think that is the only character he knows how to play. Like I said before Anna Friel, plays requisite pretty girl. And while she not hit-you-in-the-face hot, she is definitely good looking and grows on you through the course of the movie.

This movie is just so-so. It wasn't terrible and I wasn't pissed that I'd just wasted 2 hours watching it, but if I never saw it, I wouldn't be missing out. I'm not going to tell you not to watch it, but I am going to say that you should probably exhaust all other options first. This isn't a terrible movie, but it isn't very good either.

Whatever Works Doesn't Work

I feel like every other movie I watch sucks. Oh well, the life of a movie dork. Sigh. I was very disappointed with this movie. I even had low expectations going in and I still was pissed at how bad it was! Blockbuster Online gave Whatever Works 3 out of 5 stars and that's voted on by very forgiving viewers. By boss, who shares a passion for movies as well, told me that this one was only "okay." And even with all this, I still found my self wanting to believe that a movie written and directed by Woody Allen and starring Larry David (creator of Seinfeld, star of Curb Your Enthusiasm, comic genius) had to at least be kind of funny. Nope. I think I laughed once, maybe twice after I'd finished my second beer. I love Woody Allen movies and I think Larry David is hilarious, but the 2 combined just doesn't work. Its kind of like the fact that I love peanut butter and i love barbecue but a peanut butter and barbecue sandwich would probably make me throw up like I'd just eaten a loaf of bread with a gluten allergy. That's the best analogy I could come up with, sorry for the gross visual.

In Whatever Works, Woody Allen comes back to New York after moving to London and Barcelona to make Match Point, Scoop, and Vicki Christina Barcelona. The movie is written like a play, and it might actually be better as a play. It is a series of very simple scenes that are basically comprised of very simple conversations between the characters. It stars Larry David, who plays a guy named Boris, who has a very negative outlook on life, and who frequently breaks the 4th wall to talk to the audience, which, in an attempt to be humorous, only he can see and everyone else thinks he's crazy. He is a genius and basically thinks every one else is retarded. He's a total ass. He's kind of like his character on Curb, but without any of the funny situations. He's actually A LOT meaner in Whatever Works. The title comes from his theory on love. Do whatever works.

Well, Boris meets Melodie, a blond, naive, overly southern, overly dumb, 21 year old ex-beauty queen runaway from Mississippi played by the usually Goth and dark Evan Rachel Wood (the girl dated Marilyn Manson for a while, so you can imagine how normal she is). Well, to make a long story short, old ass Boris and young ass Melodie get married. Her overly southern (I really hate when actors totally overdo southern accents in movies, it almost ruins some movies for me, but i digress) parents eventually find her, and end of staying in New York. As time progresses through the movie, everyone finds out who they really are and what really makes them happy, and everyone basically lives happily ever after. Very strange for a Woody Allen movie, but even the happily ever after is not "normal" happily ever after.

The movie is quirky like Woody Allen's movies tend to be, but it doesn't really have the off beat humor that they tend to have. There are really only a couple of funny parts and they involve really messed up situations. Larry David is just such a jerk that you kind of want to kick him in the face the whole movie. The way the story is told just keeps reminding you of watching a play, which kind of becomes distracting. When I first heard that Woody Allen's next film was going to star Larry David, i got pumped. Psssssss. That's the sound of my deflation. I was so bored while watching this movie that I started playing Scrabble on my computer while it was on. It actually took me 2 nights to get through it because I fell asleep 30 minutes into it the first night. If you have a thing with seeing all of Woody Allen's movies, then fine, go rent it. Otherwise, don't waste the 93 minutes that it takes to get through the film. The happy ending isn't that great.

Orphan - Not like all those other scary kid movies

When I rented Orphan, I thought it was going to be like all of the other movies where a kid is evil and kills everyone. Kind of like The Omen or Joshua, neither of which I liked very much and neither of which really scared me. I basically rented it because there wasn't much else worth renting and I was kind of in the mood for a scary movie. But man am I glad I rented it. Orphan is a good movie. I really wouldn't even throw it in the horror category. I would describe it more along the lines of a thriller. A very good, very frustrating, very scary thriller.

For those of you who want me to get to the synopsis already, Orphan is about a family who, after a miscarriage, decide to adopt a young child. The decide on a 9 year old girl named Ester. And while Ester is a very unusual girl (one of the reasons they adopt her) things with her are beyond strange little girl unusual, bad things start happening around her.

The movie is incredibly frustrating because the audience sees all the evil things that Ester does. She kills, threatens, and torments. And the only person who sees all this is the wife, Kate, played by Vera Farminga (Matt Damon's girlfriend from The Departed). The husband, John, played by Peter Sarsgaard, (Jake Gyllenhaal's sniper buddy from Jarhead) doesn't see this and thinks that Kate is just going crazy. Throw in the fact that Kate is a recovering alcoholic and it just makes it that much harder for John to believe her. Of course, the audience knows the whole time what Ester is doing, but no one else will listen to Kate.

The little girl who plays Ester does a fantastic job as a sadistic, psychotic 9 year old. Also, the little girl who plays the John and Kate's (HA! Just noticed that, John and Kate...okay, lame...) deaf, child is cute as button.

As, in any thriller you spend the whole time waiting for a twist or a revelation as to why things are the way they are. Many times, you figure it out way too soon and it kind of ruins the movie. In Orphan, there are quite a few questions that you spend the whole movie asking. Why is this girl a murderous psycho? Why does she wear those ribbons on her neck and wrists all the time? Why does she have a picture of a man in her bible? All these questions drive you nuts during the movie, and I personally spent the whole time forming hypotheses in my head. While I kind of guessed the ending, it was still pretty jaw dropping and very cool how it all unfolds.

I highly recommend this to any one who likes a little pulse quickening when watching a movie. If you hate horrors, you may not totally hate this one. Yeah, its creepy and there are some scary parts, and it may keep you up the night of, but its still pretty dang good. The only 2 knocks I have against Orphan, are that it drug on a little too long in the middle -- which leads to even more frustration, and the opening scene is totally disgusting and I highly recommend that you fast forward through it. Not only was it gross and bloody and gory, but its it ridiculously disturbing. Plus, if you miss it, it doesn't affect the rest of the movie. Let's just say it is a nightmare involving a bad child birth. Enough (maybe too much) said. I've been on a string of bad dramatic films (horror, thriller, drama) but this one was really good. Go rent it. It may not be a cuddle session type flick but its still a good movie.

The Proposal - I fun little Rom Com

I don't care what anyone says, Romantic Comedies are pretty fun movies. They are good mindless fun with happy endings. Even if they aren't hilarious, they make you laugh. There's always a pretty girl as the leading lady and you always feel good after watching them, regardless of how unrealistic or cheesy or cliche the movie actually is. I mean lets face it, it's almost impossible to make an unchessy or uncliched Rom Com. The Proposal is one of those fun movies.

The movie stars Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Sandra Bullock is hot. Ryan Reynolds is hilarious. Bullock plays Margaret an evil, pushy boss who forces her young assistant, Andrew (Reynolds), to marry her in order to keep her Visa status in the U.S. and avoid deportation to Canada where she is from and thus losing her high powered job at a publishing company. However, to do this they must convince the customs official that the upcoming marriage is not a sham. Andrew was just happening to travel to his hometown in Alaska for his grandmother's birthday so Margaret comes along to help make the engagement look real. These 2 basically hate each other in the beginning. Margaret is a hateful bitch and Andrew is her abused sidekick who only sticks around in hopes of getting promoted and fulfilling his dream of being an editor. Well, as Rom Coms go, the 2 characters begin to see each other in a different light throughout the course of the weekend, and then fall in love for real.

I only have 2 knocks against this flick. There is a scene involving Betty White (who I think is the funniest old lady on the planet), and some Indian dancing that should have probably been cut in that is really too goofy and doesn't really fit in the movie, although it does involve some pretty funny dancing by Bullock's character. And, I know this is knit picky, but Reynold's character goes from despising Bullock's to being in love with her over the course of 3 days, which is kind of unbelievable, but whatever, its a movie.

As I mentioned before, Betty White is great as the vivacious, crazy grandmother. But the really scene stealer is Oscar Munez (better known as Oscar from The Office). If you watch The Office and know what kind of a character he plays in that (which is kind of an uptight, prim and proper person) you will laugh your a$$ off to his character in this movie.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this is one of the greatest movies I've ever seen. It's not the funniest romantic comedy ever, and while it has its sappy, love story ending, I don't know if the ladies will need to bust out the Kleenex. But it is a funny movie from beginning to end. You will laugh, and you will get that sappy love story feeling a couple of times. You feel good after watching this movie. If that's what you want out of a movie watching experience (and who doesn't?) then rent this one and you won't be sorry.

Drag Me to Hell

Drag Me To Hell is about an ambitious L.A. loan officer named Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) who has a charming boyfriend, professor Clay Dalton (Jason Long - the Mac Guy). Her life is all good until a witch-like gypsy named Mrs. Ganush arrives at her bank to beg for an extension on her home loan. Christine denies the extention and in retaliation, the old woman places the powerful curse on Christine. Christine begins to be haunted by an evil spirit and because she is misunderstood by her skeptical boyfriend, she seeks the aid of a psychic to help her. In order for Christine return her life to normal from the hell it is becoming, the psychic advises her on ways to reverse the spell.

Everything about Drag Me To Hell slightly misses the mark. Everything is just almost. Its like its is just watered down or filtered. The movie is PG-13 which automatically makes all horror movies not scary. There should be a law against making PG-13 horror movies because they are very rarely any good. Drag Me To Hell is a victim of this as well.

You are supposed to feel for Christine, you are supposed to want her to defeat this curse. Yes, she made a tragic error in letting her ambitions get in the way of helping this old woman, but she made a mistake. We all make mistakes right? And while she doesn't deserve what she gets, we just don't really ever feel too strongly for Christine. Maybe it was Lohman's blah performance, maybe she was not meek looking enough to feel for, maybe it was just a badly written part. Whatever it was, you don't feel an attachment to her.

Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of times where I jumped, and there were a couple of pretty scary parts, but not enough for me to say this is a scary movie. This movie is written and directed by Sam Riami. He's the guy behind the Evil Dead movies which were kind of silly, outrageous "scary" movies that didn't take themselves very seriously. I think with this movie, the filmmaker was a little confused on whether he wanted to make this a serious scary movie or a silly scary movie. There are a couple of gory scenes but they are so outrageously gross that they are kind of humorous. There's a nose bleed scene where blood just starts spraying all over the place, and a scene involving a corpse where goo just pours out of its mouth. There's also a scene involving a talking goat. I mean come on! I'm no filmmaker but I don't really know how you can make a talking goat scary. Even with all this, the movie does make you think that something pretty cool is about to happen. There is even an attempt at a twist in the movie, but if you even paid sort of attention, the "set up" of the twist is so obvious earlier in the film that you spot what is supposed to be the twist very early and basically figure out exactly how the movie will end.

I had kind of high expectations for this movie because while the trailer didn't really impress me, I read some reviews of some critics calling it one of the scariest movies they'd ever seen. Either these guys were paid to write that, or they are total wimps when it comes to scary movies. I mean, Dark Knight might have been "scarier" than this movie. I wouldn't really recommend this movie to anyone. It will leave horror fans disappointed. Justin Long, who I think is pretty funny, is not. And its got just enough scares and gore to make those scaredy cats out there uncomfortable. Skip this one at the local Blockbuster.

Music Within - Well, it's a great trailer...

I think there should be an Academy Award for the people who make trailers. These are the things that really make or break most movies. Crappy trailer, crappy box office results. Great trailer, usually great box office results. Now, if the movie is awesome or terrible, word of mouth takes care of a lot of that as well. The real skill lies in making a crappy movie look good with a great trailer and trick the audience into going to see the movie. Year One is a prime example of that. The trailer was hilarious. The way the scenes were pieced together in that one was hilarious. Too bad those were the only funny scenes and only when pieced together that way... Music Within is a movie where the trailer looked awesome, but the movie was just eh. It really actually got me choked up, and excited about seeing it, but nothing about the actual movie did that for me.

Music Within is a true story based on the life of Richard Pimentel, a celebrated public speaker who lost his hearing while serving in Vietnam. When he returned home disabled, he was angered by how poorly disabled people were treated in America. Pimentel then becomes the father of disability reform in America.

Sounds pretty inspirational right? Well, his story and life are, the movie just isn't. I hate to say this, but for inspirational movies to really move an audience, they have to have a certain level of cheesiness and typical cliche's. If it doesn't do that, for whatever sad reason, it just doesn't work. This movie doesn't have that, it's actually very real and anti climatic, which in turn results in a flat movie.

Don't get me wrong, Richard Pimentel is an exceptional person, and a kind person, and the acting in this movie is quite strong, but compared to the amazing trailer, its just kind of disappointing. The movie stars Ron Livingston (Office Space) as Pimentel, Melissa George (the hot Aussie on Grey's Anatomy last year) as his free spirited love interest, and Michael Sheen (Frost in Frost/Nixon) as Pimentel's cerebral palsy stricken best friend. All deliver. Livingston just seems like the nicest guy ever, George is a knockout, and Michael Sheen is really good, but maybe over does a little the cerebral palsy thing.

I just found myself wondering when the movie was going to be over, which means I was super bored. Its a great story, the storytellers just weren't that good. If you feel you want to learn a little bit about a great man's life, you will enjoy this movie, but otherwise I think you'll be bored with the whole thing.

Man on Wire - An intense documentary

The website Rotten Tomatoes is a site that rates movies by percentages. To get a 100% rating is quite difficult to do as it takes the average of all the reviews submitted on a certain film. In the history of movies, only about 100 have gotten a 100% rating. One of those being Citizen Kane, the American Film Institutes Greatest film of all time (I personally thought it was kind of boring but who am I to judge) which comes at a lousy 15. Another factor that determines the "best" movie on Rotten Tomatoes is how many reviews it gets with a 100% rating. Man on Wire is #1 on Rotten Tomatoes. It has a 100% rating and has gotten that rating by 141 reviewers. The next highest is 130.

Now, having said all that, I'll go on a limb here and go out of order and give my review first and say it wasn't THAT good. Don't get me wrong as far as documentaries go, it was one of the most entertaining I've ever seen. It's actually intense, like sitting on the edge of your seat intense. I would definitely give it something in the 90% ish range. And honestly, an A is an A right?

Man on Wire is about a French tight rope walker named Phillipe Petit who tight roped across the World Trade Towers in 1974. Which has been called the most artistic crime in history. The documentary chronicles his early years as a tight roper, his previous tight roping "crimes" and difficulty in planning the elaborate tight roping between the Twin Towers. The film combines old film footage from the 70s of Petit and his "gang," with photos of the planning, with reenactments. The film builds up to a climax like a fictional movie rather than just expose something or give straight facts like many documentaries do. It is quite intoxicating, if not a bit annoying to see Petit's enthusiasm for his art.

As I said before, this is an awesome movie, not to mention an amazing documentary. If you have a bizarrely strong and crippling fear of heights, I'd prepare myself or avoid it all together. For every other person without a crippling phobias, I suggest this be your next rental.

The Brothers Bloom

The Brothers Bloom is a quirky comedy about two con artist brothers named Stephen and Bloom (which makes you wonder why the movie is called The Brothers Bloom if that's not their last name, but whatever) played by Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody respectively. The brothers have been con artists since they were little kids. Stephen is the mastermind and Bloom is the actor. Stephen loves conning, and Bloom has his reservations about it and wants to get out. Stephen talks Bloom into one last con. The will con an eccentric, reclusive heiress, named Penelope Stamp (played by Rachel Weisz). The con is to get her involved and then take her money in some ridiculously elaborate scheme. Then hilarity ensues. Or at least its supposed too...

This is a very quirky, odd ball movie. But it tries too hard to be really funny and just doesn't make it. Its not like some of those darker comedies that don't try to be funny, just funny enough to not be serious. It does have a certain dark comedy feel though, but I think that's totally an accident. I had to check the DVD box to make sure that it wasn't directed by Wes Anderson (The Royal Tenebaums, The Life Aquatic, The Darjeeling Limited). It's one of those where all the characters are a little off. The all wear clothes that don't seem to match the time period. There are many times when the action is going on in the foreground and something crazy and totally unrelated is going on in the background.

Now I know con artist movies are supposed to be complex and hard to follow. That's what makes them so entertaining because you are so lost during the movie, but then at the end everything is explained and you have that "Ohhhh, so THAT'S what happened!" moment. Well, this con certainly was complex. I found myself totally lost at many different points. However, that may be because, sight gags and goofy dialogue aside, I was just not that interested in what was going to happen. The movie didn't hook me like con artist movies are supposed to. And then, there's not really one of those explain everything moments. There is one "Oh, WOW!" moments but its really sad so you cant enjoy it.

If you like Wes Anderson movies, you may enjoy this. It has the same feel. I'm personally not crazy about his movies but a lot of people are. It's worth a rent if you just can't find anything else. I'd give it a 6.5 or 7 out of 10 because I'm in a good mood today.

Book of Blah

Book of Blood is a horror movie based on a couple of Clive Barker short stories. In it, a house is a "crossroads" for the dead and strange happenings occur there. Strange meaning faces getting ripped off. While aiding in a study, a man defies the dead and is punished by have to suffer the torture of the dead carving their stories in his skin. I like horror movies for the most part. Let me rephrase that, I like scary movies. I hate gore fests like the Saw sequels that call them selves horrors. This is kind of like that. It's really not scary at all, its kind of disgusting, and the only cool part is that it is filmed in Edinburgh, Scotland, a city I haven't seen very much of. Unless, you like watching un scary, not really gory horrors, don't waste your time.

Tron. Drugs, dude, drugs.

Many of you may have heard a lot of hype about a sequel to the movie Tron coming out soon. Now Tron came out in 1982, the year I was born, so I obviously wasn't with it when this supposedly groundbreaking movie came out, and obviously was totally in the dark with all of the geek sites were freaking out about a sequel. So, being the worldly man that I am, I decided that I needed to watch this movie for myself to understand what the fuss is all about. And I still don't know...

The movie was made in 1982 so obviously the special effects are lacking a little, but for 1982 they are pretty good, or maybe they are just so weird that you have nothing to compare them too. I think this movie was such a hit back in the day because it's about computers and computers were just now getting "popular."

I'm going to try to explain the basic premise to you, but you're probably going to think I just ate some mushrooms because its that weird. Basically, computer programs and systems are their own little world, there are evil over lords, foot soldiers, outlaws, Wizard of Oz types, and they all look like people, more precisely the look like their programmer. Well, some how a human gets transported into the computer world, and joins with other computer programs to fight the evil Master Control program and free all of the other computer programs. In this world, the "people" were weird white suits and helmets that are trimmed in bright neon colors. That's really all I need to tell you because that's really all I can even put into words without my brain cramping.

Basically, this is Star Wars on acid. There are evil, all powerful over lords, minions, good guys who fly little jets, etc etc. But all this in a black world with neon trimmed suits that is actually just the inside of a computer system where programs look like us. Weird. But now having seen this I kind of want to see what Tron 2 will look like given our current technology.

If you are just curious to see how weird this movie is, if you want to do drugs and trip out, if you want to see The Dude (Jeff Bridges) from 1982, or if you like the hot blond from Caddyshack (she only has a small part and doesn't take her clothes off, Tron is PG) then rent this movie. You probably still wont be thrilled but at least you'll be able to say you saw Tron.

If you do not fall into any of the above categories, don't waste your time, you'll just be weirded out.

Bet many of you haven't thought about this one!

You know when you have those random thoughts when you are laying in bed before you fall a sleep. I have a hard time sleeping anyway, so I have way too many of those thoughts. The one I had last night I think actually made me giggle out loud a little bit. Do you remember the movie Reign of Fire? It came out in 2002, only 7 years ago, and starred Matthew McConaughey as a bald, bearded, tattooed dragon hunter. What made me laugh was the fact that McConaughey was the bad ass star of this sci-fi actioner, and was supported by two totally less bad ass, even lesser known actors by the names of Christian Bale and Gerard Butler. Its kind of funny what can happen in 7 years. Hell would freeze over before either one of those dudes would be cast as a lesser bad ass to McConaughey. They are like Hollywood's go to hard asses right now. Just thought I'd share that with you.

SORRY!

I want to apologize for my absence. I know all of you just didn't know what to do without my insights into the movies! But give me a break, football season is here and so is TV season, thus I don't have as much time to watch flicks. But I'm back with quite a few reviews for you so sit back, relax, and let the movie blogging roll. Lame, I know.

Year One - You'll like it if you've grown to like disappointment...

I was genuinely sad after watching Year One. I began watching this movie with my roommates Cakefart and Timmy, both pretty harsh critics, and we made a joint decision to stop watching it about 30 minutes in after there was a combined 2 and half laughs out of the 3 of us, 2 coming from me, and the half coming from the dog. Which, now that I think about it, may have just been a fart. This movie is totally stupid. Totally. And I am as easily entertained as anyone and I'm as big a fan of stupid comedy as most 11 year olds and even I barely laughed. Timmy, who such a big fan of stupid comedy that he laughs so hard at America's Funniest Videos that you could probably hear him at our neighbor's house, didn't even laugh.

Now, you may be asking, "Why were you so disappointed Mr. Heavyshoes?" Well, faithful readers, as you know, I believe the secret behind enjoying any movie is your expectation level going into the movie. Well, I had understandably high expectations, which I will now explain.

This movie is about cavemen, who meet Cain and Able, then meet Abraham, then are sold into slavery and then become soldiers in Sodom. Sounds like a pretty interesting concept. A little ridiculous, but its different so I'll go with it. It is also directed by Harold Ramis (Egon from Ghostbusters) who has directed some movies you may have seen like Caddyshack, National Lampoon's Vacation, and Groundhog Day. He's also written Animal House, Ghostbusters, and Stripes, just to name a few. Definite plus. Expectation level = this has got to be at least a little funny. The movie stars Michael Cera and Jack Black. Now I know both actor's have their critics, basically that they play the same characters in every movie, and maybe they do, but it's hard to deny that they make some funny ass movies. I.e. Superbad, Arrested Development, (not a movie but whatever) Tropic Thunder, School of Rock . Alright, my expectations have dropped a little since the Harold Ramis thing but they are still pretty high. Year One's biggest Heavyshoes expectation booster was the supporting cast. I'll just list some just to give you an idea of the actors who must have thought the script was funny enough to want to be in this movie. Paul Rudd (Anchorman, 40 Year-Old Virgin), Oliver Platt (A Time to Kill, Nip/Tuck), David Cross (Scary Movie 2), Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin), Bill Hader(Tropic Thunder, SNL), Harold Ramis (like I said Egon from Ghostbusters), Vinnie Jones (Bullet TOoth Tony - Snatch), Olivia Wilde (The OC, House, Maxim's no.1 Hottest), Hank Azaria (The Simpsons, Along Came Polly), Horatio Sanz (SNL). This many people can't possibly be in a totally crappy movie right? WRONG.

I finished this movie by myself, and I'll admit I did laugh a couple of more times, but I laugh a lot. I laugh at things that were trying to be funny but weren't. The funniest parts of the movie were the parts from the trailers, and the trailers put them in funnier contexts than they are in the movie.

Like I said, if you like being disappointed, watch this movie, but after reading my review I don't know how you could have any expectations. Or if you are feeling too smart and want to get dumber-- go for it.

Away We Go - the best movie you probably haven't heard of

I just want to say that I loved this movie. There. If you feel that I have amazing taste in movies and trust my judgment completely then you can stop reading now. Away We Go is a touching, poignant, happy journey that you'll immediately miss when the credits start to roll. Away We Go follows the story of Burt and Verona (John Krasinski - Jim from The Office & Maya Rudolph of SNL) as a couple who are expecting their first child as they travel around the U.S. in order to find a perfect place to start their family. Along the way, they have misadventures and find fresh connections with an assortment of bizarre relatives and friends who ultimately help them find out what "home" really is to them.

Burt and Verona serve kind of as the narrators in their journey to Arizona, Wisconsin, Montreal, and Florida as they unique encounters with various friends and relatives. This film is a series of great, short performances by fantastic actors like Jeff Daniels and Catherine O'Hara (the mom from Home Alone) as Burt's zany parents, Allison Janney (the step mom from Juno) as a disenchanted mother and wife, and Maggie Gyllenhall as a New Age, weird as hell mother.

This is a small, budget indie feeling movie, but it's directed by Sam Mendes. The director of such movies as American Beauty, Road to Perdition, Jarhead, and Revolutionary Road. There isn't any great conflict or climax in this movie. You just follow a pregnant couple through these encounters and learn of their fears and inadequacies. You see 2 real people with real concerns who are just trying to do the best they can for their unborn daughter. You meet people who crack you up with their crazy antics, who drive you nuts with insane beliefs, who warm your heart with their warmness, and who break your heart with the crappy hands life has dealt them. But in the end, after feeling that they are total "losers" Burt and Verona figure out that life isn't easy for anyone, no matter where they live, and all they can do is the best they can. No matter what you have or don't have, your love for your family all that anyone can ask for.

John Krasinski once again plays the ultimate guy that any girl would want, just like he does in The Office. He can some how do this and not seem like a total douche. He just seems like a guy you would like to be friends with. Maya Rudolph, who has made her name doing straight up comedy, is very warm and very convincing as a scared expectant mother. She and Krasinski have a great chemistry together.

I really felt great after watching this movie. Its real, it has a real ending, its happy but not "and everyone lived happily ever after" cheesy and sappy happy. I think the point of a movie is to make you feel something, to identify with the characters, and this movie does that. Its warm, and tender, and like I said, you don't want the movie to end because you don't want to say good bye to the characters. Rent this, and guys, surprise your girl with this and you'll be happy you did!

A Night With the Girlfriend

No, I'm not talking about a cuddle session with a special someone. Sorry to disappoint. No, I'm talking about 2 movies with the word "girlfriend" in them -- Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and The Girlfriend Experience. The former I would recommend watching with your girlfriend, the latter...not so much.

GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST

Okay, yes, I watched this movie. By myself. And yes, I am a straight man. But say what you will about chick flicks, they are at least entertaining...for the most part.

Ghosts is play on A Christmas Carol, if you couldn't tell by the title. It stars Matthew McConaughey (McConaughey in a chick flick. Surprise! Surprise!) as the ultimate, unrepentant playboy. Who, while at his deceased playboy uncles estate for his little brother's wedding, is visited by 3 ghosts who show him (or rather the audience) why he is the relationship hating man whore that he is, how his antics have affected and are affecting others, and what will be the result if he carries on the way he is. Jennifer Garner stars as the girl-that-got-away-slash-only-one-who-really-sees-him-for-who-he -really-is-slash-girl-he-really-loves. Michael Douglas stars as the dead uncle. And then there are a bevy of pretty girls who all love McConaughey even though they all know he's a player.

This movie is totally predictable, as are pretty much all chick flicks. But that's not why we watch them now is it? No, we watch them to watch the flawed male realize the error of his ways, and beg the beautiful, perfect female to give him another chance or take him back or whatever, and also save the day by reversing all the bad he's done to his loved ones in one night. And everyone lives happily ever after. This movie was bad for all intensive purposes, but I still enjoyed watching it. McConaughey is his typical charming, yet flawed, humorous, frazzled self, its fun to see carefree existence and how (no matter how unbelievable it may be) he just uses and abuses girls with no consequence to the next girl. The play on A Christmas Carol is a neat idea. There's something intriguing about watching someone watch themselves. I guess because we all kind of would like to go back and see our selves in our past. Jennifer Garner is one of those girls that you can't help but fall in love with. Forget the fact that she was in Daredevil and Elektra. She's awesome, and I challenge anyone to argue with me about that.

Like I said earlier, this is one to watch with your little lady. It'll give you a few good laughs, and you'll see a super happy ending. You may be a little dumber afterwards, and you might feel like there were many other ways to have spent the last 100 minutes, but at least you'll be kind of happy. Because in the end, Nicholas Sparks' stories aside, that's all chick flicks aim to do, make you smile and say "Awwww, how sweet!!" Well, they're at least supposed to make you girlfriend say that.

THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE

The Girlfriend Experience is a very intriguing movie. It's a movie about a high end escort, her clients, and her relationship with her boyfriend, all set against the backdrop of the most recent election and the beginning of the decline of the economy. It's directed by Steven Soderbergh (the director behind Oceans 11, 12, and 13, and Traffic, just to name a few), and it stars Sasha Grey, who is a porn star who is making her first appearance in a non-porn, and who doesn't look like a porn star. She's actually genuinely pretty. She's thin, with long dark hair, pale skin and small, real boobs. It's filmed in a kind of a documentary-esque style. The filming style, combined with the fact that you know you are watching a movie staring a girl that actually has sex for a living, and the fact that she looks like a normal girl who you would believe is someone's girlfriend instead of a hooker, creates the effect and feeling that you are actually watching a documentary about an actual high end escort. Say what you will about a woman's career choices, there is still something incredibly interesting about prostitutes. Its also interesting to see the relationship of a prostitute and her boyfriend. It's quite interesting to hear a girl talk about her day at work with her boyfriend but it includes her telling him about the men she had sex with that day. Weird. The scenes are shown out of order chronologically, but come together in the end. This requires you to pay very close attention to the movie and you spend half the movie not know what in the world the people are talking about in the scene because the events that are being talked about haven't been shown to you yet. If the idea of really having to think while watching a movie doesn't appeal to you, maybe the fact that you only have to do it for 78 minutes will help. If hearing that this movie is staring a porn star playing a prostitute sounds like the perfect equation for lots of sex and nudity, then you are wrong. If I can remember correctly, there is only one scene of nudity and it is very brief.

I liked this movie for many reasons, but these reasons may also be the same reasons that someone else will not like it. The documentary style really added to the believability of the story but some people may not like that shaky, gritty style. The out of order story telling requires you to think and pay attention, and I personally like movies that challenge me mentally. There are no known actors in this movie, which once again adds to the realness factor. One wouldn't think that a porn actress would be worth a flip playing a character that isn't on her back the whole movie, but I was actually quite impressed with Sasha Grey's performance. While she isn't required to do too much, you really feel like you are watching an escort navigate her way through life. Just a warning, there's not a lot of action, things just happen and that's it. There's no big climax or confrontation. It's just a period of time in the life of a prostitute and it's a very intriguing, captivating story.

I would give this movie 2 thumbs up, a B+, a "go see" recommendation. But, I give all this with a footnote, a fine print warning that this is not a movie for everyone, its unusual and a bit frustrating at times. However, if you want to see a movie that is far more different from anything that you've seen in a while, I highly recommend this one.

What Doesn't Kill You - Well it won't kill you per se

What Doesn't Kill You is a movie that takes place in South Boston and revolves around 2 best friends who are career criminals. It follows their petty crimes, one friend's problems with addictions, his family struggles, their prison sentences, and at last their redemption -- or lack there of. Is it me or is every person from South Boston a criminal and a total asshole?

This movie was saved from being a total crap fest by 2 things or maybe 3 depending on how you look at it. 1) (or 1) and 2)) the movie stars Ethan Hawke and Mark Ruffalo, both great actors, and while you wouldn't normally think that these two could pull off being South Boston hoods, they are such good actors that you actually kind of believe its possible. And 2) this is based on the actual life of now actor and this films writer/director Brian Goodman. You probably don't have a clue who that is and I didn't either until I looked him up. If you've seen The Last Castle, he's the grey headed stocky bully. Anyway, there's really nothing great about this movie except the fact that its "based on a true story" (I always take that with a grain of salt) and the great performances by Hawke and Ruffalo.

If you are big fans of either of the leads and want to watch a gritty, real life drama, this may be a good rent. Otherwise, you may find yourself dosing off during this flick. Not terrible, but definitely not all that good. In letter grades, C to C-.

A Simple Plan - Simply Great

A Simple Plan is one of those cult classic movies that when you watch it you kind of have that feeling that you've been missing out on being in an awesome club. There's a reason they are called cult classics to begin with. If you look in the Heavy Shoes Dictionary the definition of Cult Classic is: a movie that was made on a small budget, that didn't kill it in the theaters, and once people start renting it on DVD, they realize its awesome, and then all their friends watch it and realize its awesome. Well that's, A Simple Plan.

The movie takes place in the freezing cold winter of Minnesota or somewhere like that. Two brothers, Billy Bob Thornton and Bill Paxton, along with their buddy, an actor I did know named Brent Briscoe, happen across a crashed plane with a boat load of money in it. He he. Get it, boat load ... plane ... never mind. The concoct what seems to be "a simple plan" on how to keep the money safe and divide when the time is right. Well, you all know whats coming. That simple plan, it ain't quite that simple.

While I knew that this wasn't a Cohen Brothers film when I was watching, I could help but think how much it could be one. Maybe it was the cold, snowy setting ala Fargo, or maybe it was the semi-zany-yet-serious characters (this is one of Billy Bob's best characters), or maybe it was the raw, gruesome murders, or maybe it was the chilling, intense scenes. But regardless, Cohen Brothers or not, this was a good movie.

Billy Bob Thornton does a great job as the dim-witted, lovable loser older brother to Bill Paxton's smart, more responsible character. Frankly, I've never understood how Bill Paxton is a working actor, but his badness as an actor doesn't take away from the move.

Go out and rent this flick. I promise you will be glad you did.