New Moon - I don't know why, but I watched it...

Yes, I watched New Moon. Yes, I also watched Twilight. And yes, I plan on seeing the others when they come out. And no it’s not because I necessarily think they are very good, but for some reason I am drawn to them. I actually think the acting is pretty terrible, the CGI is kind of bad, and the whole premise of the saga is just depressing. I’m going to get on my pedestal for a second here and say that if I had a little teeny bopper girl, I would not want her to read or see these stories, and I really can’t understand why it is as huge as it is. It seems to me that it condones depression, sadness, and co-dependence to an incredibly unhealthy level. All of this is portrayed as “true love” in the stories, but damn! Love isn’t supposed to be depressing! Okay, pedestal gotten off.

New Moon basically picks up where Twilight left off. Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are in love. However, after a potentially dangerous event at the Cullen house and realizing that Bella will never be safe as long as he's around, Edward makes the difficult decision to leave his beloved behind shortly after her 18th birthday. As the Cullen family flees Forks in order to protect Bella, the heartbroken Bella discovers that vampires aren't the only creatures in town, but, in fact, Forks is home to werewolves as well. Reeling from her loss, Bella begins to take part in dangerous and life threatening acts after being comforted by Edward's image during a moment of peril. Bella’s loneliness is eased by her old friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner) who distracts her from her sorrows by helping her renovate an old motorbike, and by having his shirt off ALL THE TIME. When Bella encounters one of the vampires that tried to kill her in the first movie, who is obviously going to be a nuisance for the rest of the saga, she's rescued from by pack of enormous, ferocious wolves. We then delve a bit into the history of the Quileutes, the werewolves and Jacob’s tribe. Bella discovers the secrets of Jacob's and their hatred for Edward and all things vampire. Meanwhile, Edward, heart broken after leaving Bella, pines away in Europe. After he is falsely informed that Bella has died, he is so saddened that the only thing he wants to do is die, and the only way he can do that is to expose himself to the world and, as a result, be killed by the Volturi, the vampire ruling class.

I honestly don’t know why I’m sort of drawn to these movies. The chemistry between Bella and Edward is bad, as it is between she and Jacob. I honestly don’t think any of them are really great actors. Taylor Lautner isn’t bad ass the angry other guy. But Kristen Stewart is so awkward; it starts to grind on you. Obviously this is about vampires and werewolves, but there were lots of moments when I was like “And Bella isn’t freaking out? Why isn’t she asking why Jacob has his shirt off in the pouring rain?” Also, the werewolf men are supposed to be all big and strong and these dudes are total wimps! I’m sure there are plenty of jacked Native Americans who could have played these parts. The supporting cast gives some pretty decent performances. Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air) is the only one who seems to think that Bella is a total wacko. Dakota Fanning has like 10 lines but is super creepy.

Like I said, I don’t know why I’m drawn to these movies; they are depressing and not very well acted. Obviously, you’ll see this if you are into the whole Twilight craze. If you are just sort of curious about the whole thing, you should at least give it a whirl. However, if you are looking for a good rental, and want to see a good movie, you can probably pass by this one.

Kick-Ass - Kicked ass!

Kick-Ass was awesome! It was one of the most entertaining movies I’ve seen in a while. It’s an incredibly creative, genre bending movie that is impossible to describe in one or two words. It’s a comedic, super violent, bloody action movie. While it won’t win any awards, I think it’s going to be one of those “gotta have that in my collection” movies.

Kick-Ass is a super hero movie based on a super hero comic book by Mark Millar (the same guy that wrote the comic that “Wanted” is based on). However, none of the “super heroes” have super powers. The movie follows Dave Lizewski, an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan who one day just up and decides to become a super-hero named Kick-Ass, even though he has no powers, training or meaningful reason to do so other than his frustration with people not helping others. Unbeknownst to him, there is already a super hero duo, which is a father-11 year old daughter team who go by Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) and Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) out there already fighting crime, more particularly methodically taking out the empire of crime boss, Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong – the bad guy in Sherlock Holmes, RocknRolla, Sunshine, Stardust, well, you get the point). These two actually do have training, and can actually “kick ass.” After Dave/Kick-Ass becomes an internet sensation when he is videoed taking on 4 thugs to protect a total stranger, D’Amico, after hearing that a masked crusader is the one responsible for his slow down fall, mistakenly decides to take out Kick-Ass, thinking that he is the one responsible.

Kick-Ass is like no other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s like some teen angst, comedy about a silly kid who thinks he can fight crime. But it is also incredibly violent, and to some people, incredibly disturbing. The body count has got to be in the 50s or 60s. But what really makes it strange and disturbing is Hit Girl. She is this 11 year old girl who A) Wears a Lone Ranger-esque mask and blue wig, B) Says both c**ts and c**k C) Gets shot in the chest by her father (gotta see it to understand that one) D) Kills the majority of the people in the movie, including cutting off heads and limbs and some seemingly innocent “bad guys” and E) Gets her butt whooped by a grown man. If none of this scares you off, then some of the other stuff won’t offend you either. I know all that seems awful, but if you leave your judgment at the door and just watch the movie, open your mind to the entertainment of the whole thing, I think you’ll think this movie is wicked awesome. Oh yeah, it’s also got McLovin in it, but I don’t want to give too much away.

I know some people are going to be too disturbed by the little girl doing the things she does, but the action scenes involving her are badass. If any one of the macho action stars were doing what she does, they would be considered some of the coolest action sequences ever. For what it’s worth, I think the fact that an 11 year old girl is doing it makes it ever cooler. This is a comedy, but more than that, I think it’s a violent, action flick. Dudes, I think you’ll definitely enjoy this one. I watched this one with my lady and she liked it, however she also likes American Psycho and Gladiator. So if you are a lady and like a little blood and guts, and maybe some cool action sequences, you’ll thoroughly enjoy this. Most of all, if you are able to suspend your disbelief and remember that it’s just a movie, you’ll have a blast.

The Boondock Saints II - not as good as the first, and probably really only enjoyed by huge fans of said first

The Boondock Saints was a cult hit when it came put around 10 years ago. The movie was far from award winning, done on a shoe string budget, totally ridiculous, and absolutely awesome. Like the rest of my friends who became obsessed with the Saints, I was hooked after the first viewing. After that, I watched multiple times on multiple days. Fans like myself desperately wanted the MacManus twins to come back and dole out some violent vengeance. Well, 10 years later we have The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, and while it was entertaining and violent and ridiculous, it just wasn't nearly as good as the original.

For those of you who don't know, The Boondock Saints are Irish twins Connor and Murphy living in South Boston. They are hard drinking, expletive spewing, good Catholic boys. Long story short, they start going around killing bad guys in the name of the Lord, and basically get away with it, with the help of some cops and a crazy FBI agent. I say basically because after a very public execution of a mob boss they are pretty much forced to move back to Ireland and live on a sheep farm with their father, also an infamous bad guy killer. Their quiet life is interrupted when their beloved priest in Boston is killed and it is made to look as if they did it. The brothers have no choice but to return back to Boston and start doling out the vengeance on the bad guys that did this. However, this time, there is a deeper reason for drawing out the brothers and past sins come back to haunt some of the parties involved.

Saints 2 continues the trigger happy style of the first film with rapid fire shoot outs, film homages, and witty back and forth dialogue that is thoroughly entertaining. The gun play in this one is more stylized, and it makes for some very entertaining action packed scenes that should please everyone who loved the first film. Most of the old cast has returned. The new cast, who all bring some entertaining acting with them, mostly form the comic relief.

Unfortunately, All Saints Day isn't quite up to par with the first film. The first film seemed to have a natural flow to it, the sequel a bit choppy. Mostly though, the new actors seem to try too hard. While everyone is fun and entertaining, a lot of it is just too over the top, and after a while it gets old. Julie Benz and Clifton Collins Jr. try to make up for their first films counterparts, being Wilem Defoe and David Della Rocco respectively, but seemed to just try to be more over the top than their predecessors. The new cast members seem to be trying to make up for a lack of craziness that the originals had, and it shows. There are also several silly and useless scenes that, while entertaining, are out of place.

Fortunately, the end of the film is saved by a fantastic, super violent climax headed by Billy Connolly and Peter Fonda. Their scene at the end is the best acting in either of the films and these veterans save the flick.

If anything, the movie has few cameos and bit parts from some characters in the first which should, at the very least, leave you smiling as the credits roll. Like I said, its not as good as the first and hard core fans may find themselves a little disappointed as it doesn't quite fill the shoes of the original, but it is entertaining none the less. A good solid guy rental.

2012 - the disaster movie to end all disaster movies...basically because the world totally ends

I don't really understand why disaster movies do so well in the theaters. I mean I understand, they have crazy ass special effects and people love to look at that, and there's also this morbid fascination that people have with the world ending. I personally hate watching disaster movies, but yet here I am about to give one a semi-favorable review. SEMI-favorable.

2012 is about the end of the world. The end. Naw, I'm just joking. But really, it's about the end of the world. Basically what happens is the sun microwaves the Earth, causing the Earth's crust to soften and start moving around. This causes crazy huge earth quakes, tsunamis, explosions, basically everything bad, ...and awesome to look at on screen. The story follows Jackson Curtis (John Kusak) as a lovable loser/divorced dad/limo driver/struggling novelist as he fights to keep his young kids, his ex-wife (hot Amanda Peet) and her new boyfriend alive. In doing so he meets crazy Charlie Frost (crazy Woody Harrelson) in addition to others and all of the people he meets in some way help him stay alive. We learn that the world leaders have known about this for a while and have created huge "arcs" to keep the people that can afford million dollar tickets to ride alive. Hence the goal of our hero. Get to the arcs.

2012 has all kinds of stars in it. John Kusak, Amanda Peet, Woody Harrelson. Also, Oliver Platt (A Time to Kill, The Ice Harvest) as the "bad guy" as if facing the end of the world wasn't enough. Danny Glover (Lethal Weapons) as the Pres. Thandie Newton (Mission: Impossible 2) as the Pres's hot, brilliant daughter. Chiwetel Ejiofor (Children of Men, Inside Man) as the "good guy" scientist. Lotsa good actors to fill the space between CGI laden Earth damage.

This one definitely has the most massive, visually mind blowing scenes of any of the disaster movies, and for that it gets a semi-favorable review. The only worthwhile performance is Woody Harrelson's crazy dude. You won't really miss anything if you watch it on mute, but its still cool to watch.

I've discovered the formula to making a successful disaster movie. 1. Don't show the billions of people that actually die, because that's just depressing and we don't want to have a depressing movie about the end of humankind now do we? 2. Distract the view from the billions of deaths with mind blowing action scenes and special effects. 3. Don't kill off likable characters, and if you do, make them happy about dying or at least be totally at peace and serene. 3. Have the survivors live so happily ever after that you forget about the fact the a the whole world just died, and have the characters forget that as well. Do all that and you'll have a blockbuster.

I wouldn't recommend you rent this one, but if it's on HBO and you have about 2 and a half hours to kill, then you'd probably enjoy it, but don't expect to really "like" it, just expect to not hate it and really like the special effects.

Up In The Air - harshly realistic, and totally captivating

Up In The Air got lots of Oscar hype when it came out. Many of us want to think that if it's getting all this hype, then it should be one of the best movies we've ever seen. Well, this movie isn't one of the best movies I've ever seen, but I will say that it touched me in a way that not many movies have ever touched me, and I think it did that for many, and in my humble opinion, that, boys and girls, is why it got the hype that it did.

George Clooney plays Ryan Bingham. A man who's job is to fire people from theirs. Ryan is flying around the US over 320 days of the year, which he feels is the best part of his job. He does whatever he can to rack up frequent flyer miles, the goal not to use them but just to accumulate them to a specific number he has in his mind. A secondary job he has is to give motivational speeches on relieving one's life of excess physical and emotional baggage. Basically, how being alone is the best thing for you. He truly does believe what he preaches as he lives out of his carry-on suitcase , he is not close to his siblings (although he does do a favor for his sister while on his travels), nor does he have or want a significant person in his life. His boss (Jason Bateman) hires a young overachieving woman named Natalie (Anna Kendrick), who develops a method of video conferencing that will firings without ever leaving the home office - essentially threatening the existence Ryan so cherishes. Determined to show the Natalie the error of her logic, Ryan takes her on one of his cross country firing expeditions, but as she starts to realize the disheartening realities of her profession, he begins to see the downfalls to his way of life when he falls for a fellow traveler named Alex (Vera Farmiga). Both Ryan and Natalie grow up, Ryan seeing that maybe emotional connections are good, and Natalie realizing that there is something to being a compassionate person.

This movie a slow moving, drama. Yes there are some comedic bits, but for the most part, it's serious. The movie is incredibly poignant in today's economic environment. But more importantly than the social commentary that the movie makes is the human relationships that are formed. It's not all good, there is some good, some bad. Everyone is a gray area. Just like everyone of us.

Clooney plays his usual suave, cocky self, but he is able to play the man who is losing some of that confidence in his way of life and his belief system so well that you forget all the "bad" he has done. He goes from thinking he is compassionate, to actually being so. Farmiga (The Departed, Orphan, Joshua) is okay, her character is less about who she is but what she brings about in Clooney's. SHe's almost a girl Clooney, without the transformation. The one who really brings it is Anna Kendrick. She's "best" known for being Bella's best friend (human) in the Twilight movies. Yeah, I know this, sue me. But she is the heart of the film. She's an annoying, overachieving type-A bitch. In the beginning. And then becomes the one who you just want to hug in the end.

This movie doesn't have a "happy" ending. It doesn't have a huge, exciting climax. Everything is extremely subtle and subdued, but it works. You feel it all. You feel sad, disappointed, unsatisfied, but you also feel warmed, happy, hopeful. This isn't some Nicholas Sparks story, its real. Not everything ends happily ever after, but it can end happier than it started, or at least can lead to some happiness for the characters, in the future, after the credits roll.

I highly recommend this one. If you go into it, knowing what you now know, I think all of you will find yourself thinking about it weeks after you see it. I know I am.

Alice in Wonderland - directed by Tim Burton, starring Johnny Depp, it's gonna bake your noodle

Look, Alice in Wonderland is a weird story and it's long been rumored that Lewis Carroll was on acid when he wrote it. Tim Burton is one weird hombre and I don't know if they have a name for the drugs that he's on when he makes his movies. Johnny Depp is a fantastic actor, but lets be honest, the man can create some crazy weird characters. Put these 3 together and you know whats going to come out the other end is something that is totally going to bottle your mind. (see Blade of Glory)

The retelling of the story is basically a sequel to the original. In the 2010 version, Alice is a bit older and has gone to Wonderland, left and returned to the real world, forgotten Wonderland, and returns back to Wonderland the same way she arrived the 1st time, down the rabbit hole. But this time, Wonderland is a lot darker (Surprise, surprise. Way to change it up, Tim Burton). The Red Queen's reign of terror has made Wonderland a scary place, and Alice is the only one who can end her reign and restore peace.

Alice is played by newcomer Mia Wasikowska who is just pale and angelic enough to be both our sweet lovable heroine Alice, but still be just creepy enough to make Tim Burton happy. Johnny Depp plays the Mad Hatter and boy is he mad. He's got yellow eyes, and orange hair, eye brows, and eye lashes. He also uses about 4 different accents throughout the film including a childish lisp and a Scottish brogue. Helena Bonham Carter is the Red Queen whose head is twice the size of her body. Ann Hathaway plays the White Queen and everything on her is lily white except her black ass eyebrows.

The story is entertaining enough and is basically something that is there to give Tim Burton an opportunity to create one visually freaky world. Not only are everyone of the characters super crazy looking, but Wonderland, is a wonderland of visual effects and colors. You might actually have just as much fun watching this one on mute as you would listening to it because the story and the dialog are what make this one watchable, its the things that you are watching. See writing about this is even making me weird as I do it. I watched this in 3D which probably added to the freakishness. Now, I've never dropped acid or done any sort of a hallucinogen, but I imagine this has got to be what it's like. I enjoyed this one simply because I enjoyed looking at it. If you are looking for a good movie, with strong dialogue and a in depth plot, you will me a bit upset, because none of that is there. If you want to have one weird, visually stunning, trippy ass time, this is the flick for you. If you drink, I suggest having a few while you watch it, it might enhance the effect.

Shutter Island - Lehane + Scorsese + DiCaprio = Solid

Shutter Island is just a good movie, simple as that. It's not great and its definitely not The Departed but I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who has seen this movie and that wouldn't recommend you watch it. They may not rant and rave, but they'll definitely suggest it. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself, because that's what I'm doing right now.

Shutter Island is based on a Dennis Lehane novel by the same name. For those of you who don't know Lehane, see Mystic River, see Gone Baby Gone. Yeah, he wrote those. The movie is directed by Martin Scorsese. If you don't know who that guy is I have two words for you. "You suck." It stars Leonardo DiCaprio who is in probably every scene and is supported brilliantly by Ben Kingsley (Gandhi) and Mark Ruffalo (Blindness, Reservation Road). There's also a who's who of other supporting actors including Max Von Sydow (Minority Report), Michelle Williams (Dawson's Creek), and Emily Mortimer (Math Point) just to name a few.

Shutter Island takes place in 1954 on Boston's Shutter Island Ashecliffe Hospital U.S. marshal Teddy Daniels (DiCaprio) and his partner Chuck Aule (Ruffalo) are assigned to investigate the disappearance of a patient, a murderess name Rachel. From the beginning, things on Shutter Island are not as they should be. It appears the hospital doctors whose radical treatments range from unethical to illegal to downright sinister seem to have a very sinister twisted plot brewing. Teddy's shrewd investigating skills soon provide a promising lead, but the hospital refuses him access to records he suspects would break the case wide open. As a hurricane cuts off communication with the mainland, more dangerous criminals "escape" in the confusion, and the puzzling, improbable clues multiply, plot twists happen, things begin to not make sense, and the audience, along with Teddy, begins to doubt everything they've seen, believed, and thought. The movie makes you question what you've believed and what you've thought the whole time.

Now, I had pretty high expectations going into this one. I mean, Scorsese and DiCaprio set the bar pretty high with The Departed, and while I know every movie those dudes make isn't going to be that awesome, I couldn't help but hope this one would be too. While it wasn't The Departed, it was a thoroughly engrossing movie all the same. The movie kept you watching, kept you thinking, and most of all kept you guessing. Leo delivers one of his best performances and for what its worth, I felt like he carried the entire film. I think anyone, even if they don't recommend it like I pretend people will, will at least tell you Leo did an awesome job. There a few really awesome plot twists, however, I just did what I hate. When a movie is billed as having a plot twist, I tend to spend the whole time trying to figure it out, and lose what the movie is really meant to do.

I recommend this one. It would be a solid rental any day of the week. It's creepy, tense, well acted, visually stimulating, and just good entertainment. Some movies, the ones that give your mind, body, or heart a workout, make you feel like you've accomplished something by watching it, Shutter Island does just that. Watch it, and enjoy.

The Wolfman - Made me jump a bit, but overall...eh

So I kind of got dragged to this one basically because the trailer told me this movie was going to kind of suck. And for once the trailer was right. It did kind of suck. I'm not going to say I hated it or that it totally sucked, because there were some really creepy scenes (mostly involving a Hannibal Lecter-esque performance by Anthony Hopkins) and I actually jumped a couple of times. And really, when you are going to a scary movie and that happens, you really can't say the movie totally sucked.

The Wolfman stars Benicio Del Toro as Lawrence Talbot, an actor who was born into English nobility but spent most of his life away from home in America. When Talbot's brother goes missing, he is summoned back home by his brother's fiance' Gwen (Emily Blunt) to help find him. Talbot soon discovers that his brother was killed by a vicious creature. In the process of the search for this creature (SPOILER: (not) its a werewolf), Talbot is bitten and soon becomes a werewolf himself. His search leads him to a evil discovery involving his father (Anthony Hopkins).

This movie was very atmospheric and if it didn't have a bunch of CGI werewolves running around it would have been quite creepy, but alas its a movie about werewolves and thus you have to make them CGI nowadays. Emily Blunt was quite mesmerizing as the damsel in distress/eye candy cum heroine in this one. And Anthony Hopkins channeled his inner psycho once again to totally creep me out in just about every scene he's in. I've never really gotten on the whole Benicio Del Toro bandwagon, and so I didn't really think he was all that good in this. He wasn't bad mind you, but nothing to write home about either.

There were a couple of times when a werewolf would jump out of no where and I would jump and a couple of times when a werewolf would rip an arm or a head off and I would cringe, but these moments were not enough to carry this movie as much of a scary one. I know it was shooting more for a dramatic thriller centered around a supernatural subject, but it just fell a bit flat. I didn't really connect with any of the characters and thus didn't really feel anything in some of the more poignant points in the film. Also, I felt that the CGI was pretty weak and that really took a lot away from this very moody, creepy flick.

I honestly can't tell you to even rent this one when it comes out, maybe if its a dark, and stormy night and its on HBO and you've seen everything else on TV. Then, maybe you should watch it, but otherwise I think you are going to find yourself unsatisfied.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - had potential but fell very short

Cirque du Freak was trying to make a run at being the next Harry Potter or Twilight. In fact its kind of a cross between the two, except not a phenomenon and not really all that good. It is based on a series of novels by Darren Shan, which coincidentally is the main character's name as well. You could tell by the ending of this one that it was made with the hopes of having sequels, but if the sequels are anything like the first, it ain't going to fly.

Cirque du Freak is a supernatural story about a traveling "freak show" equipped with a tall man, a monkey girl, a snake boy, a man with 2 stomachs and a woman who can regenerate her limbs, and a vampire just to name a few. The show led John C. Reilly (Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, yeah Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt guy) comes to the normal suburban town where our hero Darren lives. Long story short, through a series of unfortunate events, Darren must become a vampire and must learn to fight in order to fight the bad vampire's who are coming into town. Good guys sort of win, but the bad guys won't give up, watch the next one to find out what happens next.

This movie could have been pretty cool. The freaks in the movie are all very intriguing and of course the whole vampire thing is huge now, but for some reason, it just felt flat. The movie has a very impressive cast which was one reason I'm not saying this movie was just straight up bad.

This movie stars John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek as the Bearded Lady, Patrick Fugit (Almost Famous), Ken Watanabe (The Last Samurai), Orlando Jones, and Willem Dafoe. Pretty good cast which makes me wonder what the script looked like to get these folks on bored.

This is a good mindless fantasy movie, but it isn't incredibly entertaining. It was kind of a boring movie surrounded by cool things to look at. If this one is one TV, you'd probably be okay watching it, but I wouldn't really rent this one if I were you.

The Time Traveler's Wife - if not for the actors, horrible

This review may have a few spoilers, so if you are really wanting to see this movie, you might want to hold off on reading this one. The first words out of my mouth when the credits starting rolling were, "Man! That was really sad." Not to spoil anything for you, but it was. It was actually more than that. It was a load of crap. Don't misunderstand me, I don't only like movies with happy endings. Some of the best movies don't have happy endings, instead they have "real" endings. But this movie is based on a totally unbelievable premise so a "real" ending is out of the picture.

The Time Traveler's Wife is a love story about Henry and Clare (Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams). Henry has a disorder which causes him to travel through time at random times and times of high stress. During one of his time travels he meets a young Clare. They form a friendship until one day Clare meets the present day Henry. They fall in love and get married, but Henry's time traveling causes a strain on their relationship because he is gone without any warning, sometime for days and weeks. This is a story of unconditional, lifelong love as Clare loves Henry although he leaves her all the time.

I admit, its a sweet premise. But the Henry's leaving and coming kind of get tedious and repetitive. You go through this emotional roller coaster with these two people and then the ending just straight up pisses you off.

If I didn't have a bit of man crush on Eric Bana ever since Black Hawk Down and if I didn't fall in love with Rachel McAdams in EVERY movie she plays in, I probably would have hated this movie. But, alas, I really like both actors so seeing them in it made the movie at least tolerable. The thing with watching romances is they kind of make your life feel a little enriched, a little better after you watch them, or at least they are supposed to. This one left me frustrated and wishing I'd opted for whatever other movie I had sitting there at the time. Maybe I'm being too much of a guy, but I just didn't like this one. Girls its still pretty sappy and the actor's do a good job of playing in love, but I still don't think you'll be thrilled about this one. It might be good for a decent snuggle session, but I imagine there are better chick flicks than this one out right now.

The Informant - okay, I guess

Man, talk about disappointed! Granted it was my own fault because I went in expecting to see my new favorite movie. The Informant was incredibly disappointing to me. That's not to say that it doesn't have it moments, and that artistically it's not an incredibly well done movie, it just means that it really, as a whole, isn't that good. Matt Damon does a really good job, and he definitely has some really funny lines, but the trailer had all the funny lines in it, and even made some line that weren't funny in the movie seem funny.

The Informant is based on a true story that is kind of a mixture of A Beautiful Mind and The Insider but, not nearly as good as either one. The Informant is the tale of Mark Whitacre (played by Matt Damon), an Ivy League Ph.D. who was a rising star at Archer Daniels Midland in the early 1990s. Damon's character becomes whistle blower on the company's price fixing tactics and became the highest-ranked executive to ever turn whistle blower in US history. He secretly gathers hundreds of hours of video and audio tapes over several years to present to the FBI which became one of the largest price fixing cases in history. In this a dark comedy, Whitacre's good deed begins to dovetail when his own major infractions come to light and we learn that our quirky hero is actually struggling with severe bipolar disorder.

This movie is cleverly told from the point of view of Whitacre, but since our hero has bipolar disorder, we never really know whether what he is telling us is the truth or not. Basically, you spend the whole movie wondering whether Whitacre is lying or telling the truth, and what his motivations are for either. This starts to get very tedious. Normally, when the audience is purposefully mislead by our narrator, it is to get to a big, shocking reveal which doesn't really happen here. We just kind of find out that our guy is kind of a liar.

Matt Damon, for my money, did a great job in this role. His performance is really what makes the movie watchable and a times unwatchable (which is kind of the point). He gained a lot of weight for this role so his normally thin frame is nice and frumpy. He also rocks a great '90s stache for most of the movie. When the movie starts out, Damon's Whitacre is a very friendly, likable albeit nerdy guy. By the end, you kind of want to punch his damn lights out. But once again, that's the point.

What can I say other that this one certainly didn't live up to it's hype. Director Steven Soderbergh has made some really good movies (See Ocean's movies). And he's certainly a good technical filmmaker, but this one just fell flat. I'm not saying this movie was terrible, I'm just saying it wasn't very attention holding. I've discovered that I have a pretty easy gauge on which to judge as to whether I am bored with a movie or whether it's just not all that exciting (and believe me, there's a difference). When I find myself playing online Scrabble or beginning a crossword puzzle while watching a movie...I'm bored. I believe I did both during this one. The only people I would feel okay about recommending this movie to are Matt Damon fanatics or people with bipolar disorder. I'm just saying.

Adam - a surprisingly good, off-beat romance

Sometimes you watch a movie and just really feel an appreciation for good acting. You see a film and you think, "You know, if this movie didn't have good actors in it, it would go from a really good film to a really bad one." Adam is one of those movies. This isn't to say that Adam is a badly written film. Some movies lend themselves more to the action, or problem that drives the film rather than the performances so they can get by with lesser performances and still create an entertaining movie. Some are so built around the characters in them that you have to have great acting or the movie just doesn't work. Adam definitely survives and thrives on the performances by its stars Hugh Dancy and Rose Byrne.

This is an incredibly heartfelt romantic comedy-ish drama, Hugh Dancy (The Jane Austen Book Club, Arthur, Confessions of a Shopaholic) stars as Adam, a handsome but strange man with Asperger's Syndrome who has all his life led a sheltered existence. He then meets his new neighbor, Beth played by Rose Byrne ("Damages," 28 Weeks Later, Knowing, Troy), a beautiful, cosmopolitan young woman who pulls him into the outside world, with funny, touching and entirely unexpected results. Their unlikely relationship reveals just how two people from different realities can find an extraordinary connection.

Both of the actors in this movie are extremely likable. You just want to reach out and hug both of them. Hugh Dancy is especially good in this. I know a person with Asperger's Syndrome or autism in general isn't a "retard" and I'm not trying to be insensitive but in the words of Robert Downey, Jr. "You never go full retard." Dancy took his advice. He played the character incredibly well. He was a full functioning member of society with his own personality, he just had a difficulty in social interactions. He plays an incredibly kind hearted, sheltered young man, and you find yourself just wanting all good things for him.

I'm basically totally in love with Rose Byrne too. She played Brad Pitt's girl friend/prisoner in Troy for those of you who was wondering who she is. She's hot in the girl next door kind of way. Once again, you find yourself just wanting her to be happy.

This movie has several very touching moments. The kindness of both of the characters is really heartwarming. I'm normally not crazy about straight up romances because some times I feel they just get too sappy and cringe as if I were watching an episode of this season's Bachelor. This movie avoided that. Yes it's a romance, so there are going to be sappy moments, but not cringe inducing sappy. It's very real. The end is a bit different than what you are used to, but it is real and still finds a way to leave you feeling happy.

I recommend this to anyone who wants to feel your heart warmed a bit. It's not incredibly long, the actors are all good in it, and you get to see a different movie than some of the mainstream crap out there. Girls, Hugh Dancy is handsome. Guys, Rose Byrne is beautiful. If nothing else watch it for that.

Law Abiding Citizen - Not exactly biblical, but pretty good nonetheless

Law Abiding Citizen can best be described as a clever little revenge thriller. As far as thrillers go, this one was pretty entertaining. I've said it before but I think that thrillers are the hardest films to make because the filmmaker has to keep the tension and/or action going basically throughout the entire movie. And a good thriller usually has some sort of twist or surprise that hopefully totally bakes the viewer's noodle. While this one doesn't totally bake your noodle, it does keep the tension going and has some really cool little action scenes.

What makes this movie good are the two performances by it's stars Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx. Gerard Butler is a grieving father and husband, who decides to take the justice system into his own hands after the the District Attorney (Jamie Foxx) makes a deal with the man who killed his wife and child in front of his own eyes. Jamie Foxx plays an ambitious, successful District Attorney who believes in the justice system but also believes that a little is better than trying to get a lot and come away with nothing. This belief is the crux of the whole problem that drives the story. After Butler begins to take matters into his own hands so to speak, he allows himself to be arrested and imprisoned, however the people involved in the case involving his wife and child's murders continue to die. It becomes Foxx's job to keep people alive and figure out how these people keep dying. Does Butler have an accomplice? Is he that good to set things up before he goes to jail? Why does he do the things he does? These are all the problems that make this one a good, entertaining thrill ride.

The interesting thing about this movie is the flip flopping allegiances that the view feels throughout the film. During different parts of the movie you hate Foxx's character and totally empathize with Butler's, then you think Butler is the man and Foxx is a total prick, then you think Butler is a whack job and Foxx is the man. You never really feel like you know who the good guy is and who the bad guy is. Both are flawed characters, but that's what makes it so watchable.

My only criticism of the movie is that the ending is a little too easy, a little too clean. I liked how it ended but for such a smart film, I thought it kind of got dumbed down in the end.

I recommend this one to anyone who likes a good thriller. It's much different than the conventional mold of thriller. It's not mind blowing or heart attack inducing good, but you won't want your 2 hours back after its over. If I had to give it a grade, I'd probably give it a B-, if that even means anything to any of you.

Academy Award Winners

I gotta be honest, there are a few surprises.

BEST PICTURE:* The Hurt Locker* Avatar* The Blind Side* District 9* An Education* Inglourious Basterds* Precious* A Serious Man* Up* Up in the Air

DIRECTING:* Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)* James Cameron (Avatar)* Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds)* Lee Daniels (Precious)* Jason Reitman (Up in the Air)

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE:* Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)* George Clooney (Up in the Air)* Colin Firth (A Single Man)* Morgan Freeman (Invictus)* Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker)

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE:* Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)* Helen Mirren (The Last Station)* Carey Mulligan (An Education)* Gabourey Sidibe (Precious)* Meryl Streep (Julie and Julia)

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:* Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)* Matt Damon (Invictus)* Woody Harrelson (The Messenger)* Christopher Plummer (The Last Station)* Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones)

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:* Mo'Nique (Precious)* Penelope Cruz (Nine)* Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air)* Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart)* Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air)

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:* Precious (Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher)* District 9 (Written by Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell)* An Education (Screenplay by Nick Hornby)* In the Loop (Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche)* Up in the Air (Screenplay by Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner)

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:* The Hurt Locker (Written by Mark Boal)* Inglourious Basterds (Written by Quentin Tarantino)* The Messenger (Written by Alessandro Camon, Oren Moverman)* A Serious Man (Written by Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)* Up (Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter. Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy)

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:* El Secreto de Sus Ojos (Argentina)* Ajami (Israel)* The Milk of Sorrow (Peru)* Un Prophete (France)* The White Ribbon (Germany)

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM:* Up* Coraline* Fantastic Mr. Fox* The Princess and the Frog* The Secrets of Kells

ART DIRECTION:* Avatar (Art Direction: Rick Carter, Robert Stromberg. Set Decoration: Kim Sinclair)* The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (Art Direction: Dave Warren, Anastasia Masaro. Set Decoration: Caroline Smith)* Nine (Art Direction: John Myhre. Set Direction: Gordon Sim)* Sherlock Holmes (Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood. Set Direction: Katie Spencer)* The Young Victoria (Art Direction: Patrice Vermette. Set Direction: Maggie Gray)

CINEMATOGRAPHY:* Avatar (Mauro Fiore)* Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Bruno Delbonnel)* The Hurt Locker (Barry Ackroyd)* Inglourious Basterds (Robert Richardson)* The White Ribbon (Christian Berger)

COSTUME DESIGN:* The Young Victoria (Sandy Powell)* Bright Star (Janet Patterson)* Coco before Chanel (Catherine Leterrier)* The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (Monique Prudhomme)* Nine (Colleen Atwood)

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE:* The Cove* Burma VJ* Food, Inc.* The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the * Pentagon Papers* Which Way Home

FILM EDITING:* The Hurt Locker (Bob Murawski, Chris Innis)* Avatar (Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua, James Cameron)* District 9 (Julian Clarke)* Inglourious Basterds (Sally Menke)* Precious (Joe Klotz)

MAKEUP: * Il Divo (Aldo Signoretti, Vittorio Sodano)* The Young Victoria (Jon Henry Gordon, Jenny Shircore)

ORIGINAL SCORE:* Up (Michael Giacchino)* Avatar (James Horner)* Fantastic Mr. Fox (Alexandre Desplat)* The Hurt Locker (Marco Beltrami, Buck Sanders)* Sherlock Holmes (Hans Zimmer)

ORIGINAL SONG:* Crazy Heart ("The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)" - Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett)* The Princess and the Frog ("Almost There" - Music and Lyric by Randy Newman)* The Princess and the Frog ("Down in New Orleans" - Music and Lyric by Randy Newman)* Paris 36 ("Loin de Paname" - Music by Reinhardt Wagner, Lyric by Frank Thomas)* Nine ("Take It All" - Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston)

SOUND MIXING:* The Hurt Locker (Paul N.J. Ottosson, Ray Beckett)* Avatar (Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson, Tony Johnson)* Inglourious Basterds (Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti, Mark Ulano)* Star Trek (Anna Behlmer, Andy Lenson, Peter J. Devlin)* Transformers: Revenger of the Fallen (Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Geoffrey Patterson)

SOUND EDITING:* The Hurt Locker (Paul N.J. Ottosson)* Avatar (Christopher Boyes, Gwendolyn Yates Whittle)* Inglourious Basterds (Wylie Stateman)* Star Trek (Mark Stroeckinger, Alan Rankin)* Up (Michael Silvers, Tom Myers)

VISUAL EFFECTS:* Avatar (Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham, Andrew R. Jones)* District 9 (Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros, Matt Aitken)* Star Trek (Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh, Burt Dalton)

DOCUMENTARY SHORT:* Music by Prudence* China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province* The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner* The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant* Rabbit a la Berlin

ANIMATED SHORT FILM:* Logorama* French Roast* Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty* The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)* A Matter of Loaf and DeathLIVE ACTION

SHORT FILM:* The New Tenants* The Door* Instead of Abracadabra* Kavi* Miracle Fish

The American President - a sort of oldie, but pretty goodie

I say sort of oldie because it came out 15 years ago, and I say pretty goodie because it is a good, solid romance. It's a chick flick but a decent one at that.

Michael Douglas plays President Andrew Shepherd, a widower and father who has an very large approval rating, but begins to get uncomfortable with the perception surrounding his being a single father. Coincidentally, he meets hard-charging political strategist and lobbyist Sydney Wade (Annette Bening - American Beauty). Shepherd is immediately taken by Wade and invites her to a State dinner, the two begin a relationship, much to the chagrin of Sydney's boss and much to the delight of President Shepherd's political rival, the scheming Senator Bob Rumson (Richard Dreyfuss - Jaws). Rumson begins to attack Sydney and the President's character which sends President Shepherd's approval ratings tumbling and eventually forces Shepherd to choose between one of his priority bills and the bill Sydney was hired to get passed. The film also stars Martin Sheen, Michael J. Fox, and Samantha Mathis.

This is basically just a well done, feel good romance movie. It has likable good guys, hatable bad guys, chemistry between the stars, a happy ending. It's really hard to say anything bad about it. I'm sure some of those people who are so super conservative or liberal would focus too much on whatever political thing is going on in the movie rather than the movie itself, but those people need take a hike anyway. It's not too long, it progresses nicely, and ends on high note. It's not overly cheesy or cliche' but then again most romances have those, which is one of the reasons we like them.

I guess if I had to say one critical thing about the film is that I thought it may have spent a little too much time focusing on the race for votes which is the mechanism used to drive the action of the film and not enough on the relationship of our main characters. But that's me being nit picky.

I don't know if you necessarily need to go out and rent this one, because it's not going to change your life or anything, and its also on like every week. But since its on TV a lot (and there's usually a reason for a movie being on TV a lot...it's a good movie) I would recommend cuddling up with your snuggle buddy and taking this one in.

A Serious Man - Coen Brothers, so it'll probably be awesome the 6th time I see it

A Serious Man is the newest Coen Brothers creation. If you haven't at least heard of the Coen Brothers, you have 2 options. Go jump off the nearest really tall building or do some research on them and watch some of their movies, because they (the movies and the Brothers, not the really tall buildings) are awesome. Having said that, however, Coen Brothers' movies are also very weird, and sometime very hard to really understand. They all have this strange, um, thing, about them. I find that the first time I watch a Coen Brothers movie, I am a little confused, and find myself saying, "well, that was okay...i guess..." But then the second time I like it a little more and the third a little more, and so on and so forth. Usually the opposite happens with most movies. They lose a little bit of their luster after each subsequent viewing. I say all of that to say this. A Serious Man was okay...i guess...

A Serious Man is a very black comedy of Larry Gopnik, a physics professor at a quiet Midwestern university, who is a good man who's live is unraveling around him. His wife Judith is leaving him for a totally pompous acquaintance, his unemployable brother Arthur sleeps on the couch and gets in serious legal trouble, his son Danny is a discipline problem and a total pothead, and his daughter Sarah is stealing money from his wallet, an Asian student is blackmailing him for grades, and all the while Larry tries to keep his life in order and find answers to all of this through guidance of 3 very unhelpful Rabbis. This is a movie about the Jewish faith, about trying to stay faithful amongst all the crap that's going on. If you know the biblical story of Job, this is a black comedy based on that.

The Coen Brothers always find ways to deal with very deep themes in their movies. This one is no different. This would be a very serious, very depressing drama if there were not the series of outrageous events, circumstances, and characters that inhabit this film. There are no big stars in this flick either, however, you'll probably recognize a few of the actors.

It is really hard for me to write a truly honest review of this movie because I can't help but think that this movie is actually much better than I thought after my first viewing. If I had to tell you right now, without anything else, what I thought of the movie, I would have to say I thought it was a little dull, very strange, and a bit difficult to understand the point. But I can't say that because I know it is a Coen Brothers movie and their flicks are so subtle and creative and different that they all end up being good. This movie is definitely creatively done, and definitely original.

My suggestion to you guys is this. If you like Coen Brothers movies, you should rent this one. But be forewarned that it is a much more serious "comedy" than some of their others. It will be difficult to grasp at first, I think. If you don't like the Coen Brother's or you are like Timmy and need explosions and car chases to keep you entertained, then you are going to find this one very dull. Maybe after I see this one again, I can write a better review, but until then, this is all I've got.

Couples Retreat - a bit more serious than I thought

What can I say about this one other than it was "Okay"? Couples Retreat is a movie with an all-star comedic cast including Vince Vaughan, Jason Bateman (Arrested Development, Juno), Jon Favreau (Swingers, I Love You, Man), Faison Love (The Perfect Holiday, Idlewild), Kristen Davis (Charlotte from Sex and the City), Malin Akerman (The Heartbreak Kid, Watchmen), and Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, When in Rome). When ever you have Vince Vaughan and Jason Bateman in a movie, there are going to be laughs. This movie was no different. There were plenty of laughs. I mean I laughed a lot, but for a comedy to be truly funny and really good, the ratio between laughs and seriousness needs to be right. This movie was too light on the laughs and too heavy on the seriousness. Hence, the highly specific "Okay" rating.

Couples Retreat is centered around four couples who settle into a tropical-island resort for a vacation. While one of the couples is there to work on the marriage, the others fail to realize that participation in the resort's therapy sessions is not optional. In attending these sessions, the couples realize that things aren't so hunky dory and all of the couples problems get multiplied and exacerbated.

Like I said before, this movie is bad, its just not great. I expected more from the comic geniuses in this flick, and I didn't get it. Vince Vaughan has some of his classic, hilarious rants. The naked Asian guy from The Hangover is in it. You see all the hot girls in their underwear and bikinis. My favorite part is seeing Kristen Davis, who I think is an absolute smoke house, in a not much clothing a lot. And the scenery is breath taking. It made want to go on vacation bad. But the real scene stealer is the little kid who plays Vince Vaughan and Malin Akerman's youngest kid. He's cute as hell and everything he says and does is hilarious. Obviously the cuteness helps, but still.

If you rent this one, you won't be terribly disappointed, but you won't be thrilled either. If I had to give it a number grade, it would be probably a B- maybe a C+ if I wrote this on a Monday.

New York, I Love You - Paris, je t'aime too.

Some of you may be blown away at my multi-lingualness and you very well should be, because I just wrote some French at you. New York, I Love You is the sister film to 2006's Paris, je t'aime which translates into Paris, I Love You. Creative, I know. The premise behind both these films is that they are a series of short vignettes, each directed by a different director, each about a different kind of love, each in a different part of the city. I personally think it is a really cool premise.

New York is a little different from Paris in that Paris's stories never really intertwined and some of New York's did. It is also different in that we were told who was directed what in Paris but not in New York. Paris had a couple of fantastical scenes, where as New York really only had one-ish. I like both of these movies equally for different reasons.

New York stars many big name actors. Some playing roles that are very atypical for them, some not. If you want to see a movie with tons of big names, that doesn't suck, as I've heard but don't know first hand about Valentine's Day, then you'd like this one. Some of the big names include in no particular order, Bradley Cooper, Shia Le Beouf, Natalie Portman, James Caan, Andy Garcia, Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson, Christina Ricci, Blake Lively, Orlando Bloom, Anton Yelchin, Ethan Hawke, Drea De Matteo, Maggie Q., Robin Wright Penn, Chris Cooper, Cloris Leachmen, John Hurt, and more and more.

I like this movie because it is like watching a bunch of tiny little movies because each is it's own interesting story, and each is filmed in its own special way. Characters in one story appear briefly in other stories. Character's from two different stories interact in transition between the various scenes.

This film doesn't have a end goal. The stories and characters don't combine into one final resolution. It is a film that just contains different stories about different love in an amazing city. The stories range from a story about a boy (strangely) losing his virginity to a manny and his charge to a husband and wife in love to a lonely, aging star and a bell hop. They are very different but all very intriguing. I do however recommend that everyone see this movie. It's not going to blow your socks off, but I think you will feel a little bit more cultured, maybe a little bit happier after you see this. This is more on the movies-are-an-art-form side of the spectrum than the movies-are-just-for-entertainment side, but it is still quite entertaining. Rent this one, pour some red wine, get cozy with your honey, and enjoy the show. Or rent this one, be like Timmy and open a Natty Light, and enjoy the show. Regardless, rent this one.

Zombieland - FINALLY! I good movie!

I will totally watch this movie again! Zombieland is a completely entertaining movie. From beginning to end, I was having fun. I love it when silly movies don't take themselves very seriously, and this one definitely doesn't. For those of you who don't know anything about Zombieland, and are just going by the name, this is not a scary, Zombie movie, this is a funny Zombie movie, and it's pretty dang funny too.

Zombieland takes place in the very near future when a plague of some sorts turns just about everyone on earth into flesh eating Zombies. The movie follows 4 survivors as they try to reach some sort of "Zombie-free" zone. The story is told by Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg - the poor man's Michael Cera) in which he explains how everything happened and periodically tells us the rules of survival, which appear written on the screen when on of his rules works or doesn't. He is accompanied on his journey across the country by Tallahassee played by an absolutely hilarious and entertaining Woody Harrelson. These two are joined by Wichita (Emma Stone-Jonah Hill's girl in Superbad, who is actually hot in this) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin - Little Miss Sunshine). There are many fun and entertaining parts as the 4some journey's across country to California where we have a super show down between the zombies and our heroes.

There are multiple reasons why I liked this movie. Firstly, everyone in the movie is does a really great job and is hilarious. I mean, my boy Woody kind of steals the show, but there really isn't a weak actor in the bunch. It's also filmed in Georgia, and while I didn't necessarily recognize anything right off, I'll be glad to share a little trivia with you. There is a section of the movie that takes place in an ridiculously large, and opulent home owned by a super hilarious movie star, who has a really funny cameo. That house is in Buckhead. There's also a scene at an amusement park. That is filmed at the theme park in Valdosta. Just a little trivia. Like I said earlier, this movie doesn't take itself seriously, so there are a lot of "yeah right" scenes, but because of the nature of the movie you are totally cool with it. There's also something wickedly fun about killing a lot of zombie, I don't know what it is, but it's really cool. Call me weird.

I recommend this one to everyone. I do that with one bit of warning though. It's a ZOMBIE movie, so there is going to be a lot of gross, gory parts. Either prepare yourself for it, or get over it and grow a pair, but either way, you gotta see this one. You'll have a blast.

Whip It - Drew Barrymore's directing debut

The back of the DVD box for Drew Barrymore's directorial debut about women's roller derby's says something along the lines of "pure genius." Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I wouldn't say it was "pure retard" either (pardon my political incorrectness there).

Whip It is the story of Bliss Cavendar (Ellen Page - Juno) who is a sort of edgy, "alternative" misfit who has grown unhappy with her small-town Texas life football and beauty pageants. Football loved by her father Earl (Daniel Stern - Home Alone I and II) and the pageants by her mother Brooke (Marcia Gay Harden). Bliss just wants to get out and needs a plan and a calling. She eventually finds a flyer for a Roller Derby event, schemes to attend, gets invited to try out and becomes Babe Ruthless, her alter-ego roller derby character. She makes the team, lies about her age, works hard to succeed, experiences her first love with the young lead singer of an Indie rock band, gets disappointed in love, bonds with her new family of roller derby girls who include such actresses as Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig (SNL, Knocked Up), Juliette Lewis (Natural Born Killers, Old School), Eve, and Andrew Wilson (Luke and Owen's older bro), fights with her mother to escape the beauty pageant and live her new dream as roller derby star. And they all live happily ever after. The End.

This was a good movie in that it had an interesting cast that all seemed to mesh with one another. It was also pretty cool in that it is a decent flick about women's roller derby which I can honestly say I've never seen.

It should be noted that the word "good" for the purposes of this review is the be defined as "well acted, well written, well cast, well directed." It is not to be defined as "I liked it." Because I was actually kind of bored with it. I mean, I like Ellen Page, I like Kristen Wiig, Drew Barrymore, and Juliette Lewis, but I just didn't like this movie. I felt it kind of hard to believe that Ellen Page's little ass could handle one match in the rough sport of roller derby. I also just wasn't that intrigued by the roller derby sport. I know the idea is to see sexy women in skimpy outfits, knocking the crap out of each other, and that's supposed to be hot, but I just don't think it is. The women are tattooed and butch and the only time women fighting is hot is when it involves bikinis, a kiddie pool, and lots of jello...or mud...or KY jelly...

This is one of those well made films that just felt a little flat to me. The fun parts just didn't feel all that fun, the sad parts just didn't feel all that sad, and the happy parts just didn't feel all that happy. Maybe I was in a bad mood when I watched this, but I honestly wouldn't recommend anyone rent this. If I comes on HBO or something, maybe you can watch it, but don't waste you hard earned money on this one.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - WTF???

When the person that you are watching a movie with has to lean over both half way through the movie and also immediately after it and apologize to you for suggesting the movie in the first place, you know it's a pretty bad one. Some of you may have no idea, but The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is the movie that Heath Ledger was filming when he tragically died last year. Most think that his last movie was as the Joker in The Dark Knight, but no, it was this one. And I kind of wish it wasn't because basically this movie is so weird it was bad. Don't get me wrong, I think a lot of weird movies are good because, if nothing else, they are different from anything else out there. But this one is so bizarre it makes it almost unwatchable.

When trying to figure out how I was going to tell you what this movie was about, I hit the proverbial wall, and could not for the life of me think of how to describe this movie without my head exploding. So I looked up some other synopsi...synopsises...synopsis'....whatever. And now I will paraphrase them for you.

Ahem....The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a fantastical morality tale, set in the present day. It tells the story of Dr. Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) and his extraordinary 'Imaginarium', a travelling show where members of the audience get an opportunity to choose between light and joy or darkness and gloom. Blessed with the extraordinary gift of guiding the imaginations of others, Dr. Parnassus is cursed with a dark secret. Long ago he made a bet with the devil, Mr. Nick (Tom Waits - creepy guys in Domino and Book of Eli), in which he won immortality. Many centuries later, on meeting his one true love, Dr. Parnassus made another deal with the devil, trading his immortality for youth, on condition that when his first-born reached its 16th birthday he or she would become the property of Mr. Nick. Valentina (Lily Cole) is now rapidly approaching this birthday and Dr. Parnassus is desperate to protect her from her impending fate. Mr. Nick arrives to collect but, always keen to make a bet, renegotiates the wager. Now the winner of Valentina will be determined by whoever seduces the first five souls into believing in their brand of life. Dr. Parnassus enlists the help of the mysterious Tony (played by 4 actors: Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell) in his journey. Dr. Parnassus basically promises his daughter to the man that helps him win.

Okay, that sounds basic enough right? Well, when you consider the fact that this movie takes place in the 'imaginarium' which is basically in some one's head, living out their fantasies, it gets incredibly bizarre. You never really learn how all of this is going on other than Dr. Parnassus is somehow pulling the strings with his mind.

I wanted to see this movie because it was Heath Ledger's last movie, and I have liked him even before he blew all of our minds as The Joker. I also knew that even though Heath died half way through the making of this movie, they still wanted to finish it and enlisted the help of Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell to finish it. They all 4 play the same character, Tony. And I really wanted to see how they were going to pull that one off. And while it was really cool to see such well known actors play the same character, and while it was a sort of surreal feeling seeing the point in the movie's filming when Heath died, the movie was still pretty bad. There is so much time spent in the 'fantasy world' and it is so strange that you actually get bored with the movie because there is not enough explanation into the characters and their motivations and how the things are happening. Also, this is one of those movies that ran waaaayyy too long. Maybe if it were a bit shorter, it would have been more captivating, but that didn't happen.

I really only have 3 good things to say about this movie. 1) The visuals and effects in this movie are pretty dang amazing. 2) You get to see Heath Ledger's real last film as well as see 3 of the biggest actors today step in and help. 3) This movie would probably be good if you were on some sort of psychotropic drug or something.

I honestly can't say I recommend this movie to anyone other than for them to see Heath. I know some people will say this is a masterpiece of a movie with it's visuals and fantastical and moral themes, but I just didn't like it at all. I can see its good qualities as a piece of art, which are actually pretty amazing, but as a piece of entertainment, I think this one falls way short.

Gamer - what a weird movie!

Okay, I knew Gamer wasn't going to blow my mind or anything with some crazy detailed plot. I was expecting a relatively mindless sci-fi actioner. Well it was that. It was definitely action packed and definitely had an interesting premise, but what I didn't see coming was how weird and off the wall this thing was going to be. I mean, there was some WEIRD stuff going on in this one.

Set in a future-world where humans can control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online gaming environments, a star player, Kable (Gerard Butler - 300, PS, I Love You), from a game called "Slayers" looks to regain his freedom while taking down the game's mastermind. Slayers is a worldwide phenomenon in which death row inmates are given the opportunity to compete in a real life shooter game. Survive 30 matches and you go free, but you could die playing. The "players" are controlled by micro chips in their heads in which they are controlled by some kid in his bed room playing the game like someone would play Modern Warfare, except in this game there are really bullets and real people get killed. It is learned that the creator of this new technology is not such a nice guy and Kable is not such the bad guy. Well, Kable figures out a larger conspiracy and must escape prison to save himself and his loved ones.

This is a total guys movie. This movie is pretty much non-stop action. There's gun fights galore. People getting blown to bits, car chases, fist fights, tons of nudity, lots of sex, just a ton of fun. But thing are really weird too. You have one world/game that is just like Sim City or Second Life but instead of controlling an avatar on a computer screen, you are controlling a real person just like in Slayers. This is a persons job, they go to work and get controlled by some fat dude sitting in his living room. Because its a game, people are dressed crazy and basically all they do is go to this world and drink and do drugs and have sex but they have no consequences to they're own body. So you have a bunch of people dressed like Halloween doing crazy stuff and not reacting to the real world around them. But that's not the weird part. At the end, our villain uses his mind control powers to have a song and dance. Literally in the middle of this intense action movie, there is a song and dance. I mean weird!

Gerard Butler is a bad ass in this of course. The antagonist is Michael C. Hall (Dexter) and he is super creepy. Amber Valletta (Hitch, The Transporter 2) is Butler's wife and resident hottie. And she wears skimpy out fits the entire movie basically. Ludacris is a master computer hacker.

Like I said, this was a fun, dude's movie. You may be a little dumber, and definitely have that "what the hell just happened?" look on your face, but you will be entertained. There's tons of action, really cool visuals, pretty women, I mean, what else can you ask for if you are looking for some mindless fun? So, in conclusion, this is definitely not the best movie I've ever seen, but it's not the worst. Yes, the plot line absolutely ridiculous. Yes, its got some totally pointless and definitely weird parts. Yes, the acting is pretty bad. But, if you want to see a mindlessly fun movie, you may want to check this one out.

The Invention of Lying - a great idea that falls a little short

The premise of this film is quite interesting. It takes place in a world just like our own, it is modern day, people have regular jobs, they live in regular homes, but there's one huge difference. People can't lie. Not like it's against the law, it is physically impossible. It's just like in our world, people can't fly. In this film's world, people can't lie. As a result of this, there's no flattery just for the sake of flattery, there's no pleasantries when you aren't feeling pleasant, and there is no make believe, no movies or TV shows that are based entirely on fact. The biggest stars in this world are screen writers and readers who sit in a chair and read the fact based stories that the screen writers prepare. They are basically reading out of history books. This is high entertainment in this world. Well, one day, a slouchy, unlikeable loser, Mark Bellison, played brilliantly by Ricky Gervais (the British Office) after a terrible day in which he's been laid off and is unable to make rent, goes to the bank and suddenly lies about how much money he has. No one is the wiser because no one can lie. Mark decides to use this new found ability for his personal gain. He becomes rich and famous and gets the attention of the woman of his dreams Anna (Jennifer Garner) but in the process learns important life lessons and the importance of actually telling the truth.

I'm going to be honest. I wasn't totally bored with this movie, but I just felt like it was missing something. Like it was just a little too bland. I can't tell you how I would have made it better, I can just say I felt like it could have been. Ricky Gervais plays the same kind of dead pan loser that no one likes, that he always plays, and while I think he is hilarious when he hosts awards shows or does his stand up, I have yet to think he was funny in a movie. Jennifer Garner of course plays a beautiful, perfect idea of a woman, however, because she can't lie, you see a shallowness to her that sadly the majority of people may possess or at least think about. But regardless of her "flaws" in this movie, you still fall in love with her, just like you do in all of her movies. Rob Lowe is also in the movie as the handsome, obnoxious ass romantic rival to Ricky Gervais.

This movie is unique in the fact that, while it is a silly comedy, it deals with some pretty deep themes. There is the theme of "honesty" versus "lying." You see that sometimes, the best thing you can do is "lie." Or at least not tell the truth. You see the consequences of being brutally honest and the consequences of lying. The movie also deals with religion in an in-your-face kind of way. I am still a little confused about the religion aspect of the movie, because even though it appears at times that the movie is mocking religion and everything that you are told, it also seems to be telling people that faith and/or religion is a good thing, and gives people something to live for. I'd really like to hear other people's take on that aspect of the film.

Like I said, I didn't hate this movie, but I also wouldn't recommend you waste a rental on it. If it's on TV, then I would recommend you watch it, but otherwise I don't think this one is really worth that much of your time.